There are quite a few chatters that are asking my opinion these days... mostly of things of which I have no opinion to give. Some ask about international politics, some of global warming, a few ask of overseas stock markets, and some even ask about the latest diet fads... plus a bunch of other topics that I have little knowledge of.
So the evidence is clear... either my opinion really does count to a lot of chatters... or I just have a lot of people snowed. I'm leaning toward the latter since it requires far less effort on my part.
Most of you misguided chatters seek my opinion for no other reason than I write this blog. You think that since I can string together a couple of words in a semi-coherent manner... on a regular basis... that what I think... must have some relevance to your world.
Truly, we all know that most of the time, this blog writes itself. In fact, I don't consider myself a writer so much as a cranky chatter of life, a benign bystander, an existential fly on the wall. I just sit on the sidelines and take note of what's happening around me, then I run it through a spell checker and report it to you. Think of me as the hall monitor in the Big School of Life. By the way, where's your chat pass?
While some chatters ask my opinion on current events, most want to know what I think about things that haven't even happened yet, like I'm some kind of psychic hot-line.
Who do you think the next chat president will be? Do you think Sonners and chat 'scrap will ever unite? Do you think Cudaguys penis can get any larger with vitamins? Do you think the new Barbie will be able to wear the old Barbie's clothes? WTF?!?!?!
Since so many chatters seem to think that I can see into the future, I decided to put my sigh_kick (Psychic) abilities to the test. After all, I have nothing to lose and the answers to many questions to gain. Questions like... can I really see into the future? Do I really possess the gift of foresight? If I really can see into the future, what's the best way to make a fast buck off such an ability?
Okay, so I put myself in a deep, hypnotic trance and sat lurking in NHL:1 the other night, with the volume turned down, so I could stay focused and not hear the babbling of Oz. Then I closed my eyes and let the visions come. For a while, all I could see was Oz getting sonned to oblivion. Soon things became more clear. Here then, are some of my visions from that night...
- Oz leaving chat for the remainder of the year to spend time with his daughter and 'wife'. Turns over his Fantasy League to TML... who is voted best Commissioner and General Manager of 2008... but can't make the playoffs with the team he has assembled.
- Lotusblossom604 (Justine) back in business with her Red Line Consulting Firm, divorcing her husband, losing her kids, and continues to stalk Boddy and Markus while at the same time phone sperming ZR22k while listening to 1982 momma jokes.
- Hockeytard (Lindsay) meets up with Hotshotschamp (Chris) and they get married soon thereafter. Divorce comes after two months when they fight over who has the better tacos, Taco Bell or Taco Johns. Canucks_girl44 (Katie) rushes to be by Hots' side when he considers jumping from one of the few remaining bridges that haven't collapsed in St. Paul, Minnesota.
- Forsy_girl (Jenn) cuts down her blog views to single digits per day... from home anyway. Wait until she gets a job... she'll be logging in to read comments about her from work, just like (Boltsgirlvl4) Jill and - Aka_rockin_canadian_girl (Dani) does.
- Buff_Lincoln (name unknown) flying out to California to meet up with the love of his life... what's her name? Or is it Florida, (Nashvillepredsfan) Sonya... Ireland (Harlemz_Nocturne) Laura... Kansas (Foxy_the_First) Ine... or Michigan, (Citygirl0117) Tina? Wait, it was definitely California, where Sherry_Berry27 has taken up residence with (xl_five_lx) Mitch. Sorry Sharks1419 (Allie).
- Mary_Christine21 will announce that she is pregnant with ex-boyfriend Michael Tuck (Thornton_19_ca). Though it is unclear whether the baby will be a boy or girl, it will be born with interchangeable parts, just like its daddy.
- Due to the lack of viable candidates to run in the next chat room presidential election, the chat 'scrap Party will attempt to revive the political career of (Jockoredwing53) Jack. The fact that he is suffering from Alzheimer's will be considered by many to be a political plus. Is it Alzheimer's or has he smoked one bowl too many?
- A popular Internet chatter (Strider_Nation) Jeremy will win fame and fortune with the publication of his book, "Men Are From Venus, Women Are From Over Yonder... now go to work, make me some money, and oh yeah, don't forget to make me a sandwich before you leave, bitch."
Well, what do you know, those folks were right. I can see into the future after all. Or maybe it was all just a dream brought on by that beer and Polish sausage sandwich I had while passing out in chat.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Future 'Cide... or is it murder?
On June 22, 20XX... an examiner will check out the body of Chatter A. She will confirm that Chatter A, has indeed died as a result of a shotgun blast to the head.
Before that, I see Chatter A jumping from the top of a 15 story building with intent to commit 'cide. Chatter A will leave a note behind. As Chatter A falls past the 12th floor, their life will be taken by a shotgun blast going through a window. Neither the one pulling the trigger or the future victim are aware that a safety net will be just below the 12th floor level to protect some building workers... and that Chatter A will not be able to complete their suicide mission the way they had planned.
The fact that Chatter A will be shot on the way to probable death, and not via a successful fall to his death as originally planned... will prompt a medical examiner to feel that he has a homicide on his hands and not a suicide.
From the room on the 12th floor, from where the shotgun blast will come from... is seen occupied by a chat couple... Chatter B and Chatter C. I see them arguing vigorously... and that Chatter B is threatening Chatter C with a shotgun. Chatter B is so upset that when he pulls the trigger he misses Chatter C and the pellets go through the window striking Chatter A in the head, on their way down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Law students, but when Chatter B intended to kill Chatter C but killed Chatter A by mistake... Chatter B is guilty of murder of Chatter A, correct?
But when confronted with the charge of murder... I see Chatter B and Chatter C are both adamant in what they say... in that they thought the gun was unloaded.
Chatter B explains that it has been a long-standing habit to threaten Chatter C with an unloaded shotgun during the course of their arguments. Chatter B says he had no intention to murder Chatter C. Therefore, the killing of Chatter A appears to be an unfortunate accident... that is... IF... the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turns up a witness, Chatter D... who claims to have seen Chatter B's and Chatter C's adopted son loading a shotgun about six weeks prior to the argument. It turns out that Chatter C has cut off her adopted son's financial help, and the adopted son knowing the penchant of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his Father would shoot his Mother. Since the loader of the gun... the adopted son... is aware of this, he is guilty of murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger, right?
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the adopted son for the death of Chatter A.
Now comes the exquisite twist.
Further investigations revealed that the adopted son was in fact, Chatter A. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his Mother's murder on June 22, 19XX... so he goes to the the top of the 15 story building and jumps off, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through the 12th story window.
The adopted son had actually murdered himself.
Who is Chatter D, the witness?
I'm sure we all know who Chatters A,B,and C are.
Before that, I see Chatter A jumping from the top of a 15 story building with intent to commit 'cide. Chatter A will leave a note behind. As Chatter A falls past the 12th floor, their life will be taken by a shotgun blast going through a window. Neither the one pulling the trigger or the future victim are aware that a safety net will be just below the 12th floor level to protect some building workers... and that Chatter A will not be able to complete their suicide mission the way they had planned.
The fact that Chatter A will be shot on the way to probable death, and not via a successful fall to his death as originally planned... will prompt a medical examiner to feel that he has a homicide on his hands and not a suicide.
From the room on the 12th floor, from where the shotgun blast will come from... is seen occupied by a chat couple... Chatter B and Chatter C. I see them arguing vigorously... and that Chatter B is threatening Chatter C with a shotgun. Chatter B is so upset that when he pulls the trigger he misses Chatter C and the pellets go through the window striking Chatter A in the head, on their way down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, Law students, but when Chatter B intended to kill Chatter C but killed Chatter A by mistake... Chatter B is guilty of murder of Chatter A, correct?
But when confronted with the charge of murder... I see Chatter B and Chatter C are both adamant in what they say... in that they thought the gun was unloaded.
Chatter B explains that it has been a long-standing habit to threaten Chatter C with an unloaded shotgun during the course of their arguments. Chatter B says he had no intention to murder Chatter C. Therefore, the killing of Chatter A appears to be an unfortunate accident... that is... IF... the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turns up a witness, Chatter D... who claims to have seen Chatter B's and Chatter C's adopted son loading a shotgun about six weeks prior to the argument. It turns out that Chatter C has cut off her adopted son's financial help, and the adopted son knowing the penchant of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his Father would shoot his Mother. Since the loader of the gun... the adopted son... is aware of this, he is guilty of murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger, right?
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the adopted son for the death of Chatter A.
Now comes the exquisite twist.
Further investigations revealed that the adopted son was in fact, Chatter A. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his Mother's murder on June 22, 19XX... so he goes to the the top of the 15 story building and jumps off, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through the 12th story window.
The adopted son had actually murdered himself.
Who is Chatter D, the witness?
I'm sure we all know who Chatters A,B,and C are.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The One...
The likes of Lotusblossom604 (Justine), Northerncutie08 (Tracy) and Berrybusygirl (Debbie) say that during their hunt for 'The One'... it can be a way to achieve romantic wholeness by dating partners with differing interests and personalities while in NHL:1. We also have Mounta_00 (Jeremy), HockeyMom935 (Cerah), Foxy_the_first (Ine), Vicesandhabits (Jimmy) who are looking for love in all the wrong places, and not under their own rooftop.
I agree with them, that you should explore various options in finding love... but are these people not married? Why do they still play the game?
I can understand where chatters may tickle their outdoor fancy, while other chatters may fulfill their penchant for hockey while visiting a chat room... but these married individuals seem to have taken it a step further and gone as far as to speaking on the phone numerous times throughout a given week with multiple NHL:1 chatters.
Where has the loyalty gone?
Instead of building a better relationship with their husbands or wives... who obviously only meet half their needs... (or at least they pay the bills) they would rather enjoy a day of hockey chat, or a night of cyber-sex with multiple chat partners like Zr22k, TML_fan_4_life, Flyereddie48, or Costergirl16.
I definitely agree that by expanding one's romantic options or multi dating on or offline can loosen up one's definition of his/her type and help one mingle with a vast array of potential mates out there, but once again... not if you are married.
In real-life, some male and female chatters have tossed away a good thing because their partner wasn't a 100% perfect match. I guess when you have the likes of single studs in chat like Ripstic5021 (Scott), Briereyote (Dean), Hotshotschamp (Chris), Thornton_19_ca, Forever_frantic (Linda) Fischer_Brittany... who have it all... they seem like quite the catch to any man or woman, married or not.
Back...
Okay... back to the dating world... the online universe, of course... where some chatters have a bustling social calendar that features more than one active, ongoing romance.
How about if you're not married, but you are in a relationship? Is it okay then to 'play around'? Is online flirtation and cyber-sex considered cheating? Many have voiced their opinions on this, and the vote is spilt... 50-50. Let me know what the rest of you think.
How does a chatter date this way without getting confused and creating embarrassing, news reel worthy moments? How can one do so without compromising one’s own morals or those of the sweeties involved?
Tell me Boltsgirlvl4 (Jill), Forsy_girl (Jenn) Antiwhy (Ryan), Talker_a_Talker (Jon), Jerzzzey (Paul), Shortybynature (Mandi), Sharks1419 (Allie), Butter_cup0 (Lindsay), Wildbp (Bill), Hovy_Kovy (Dave), Not2visible_31 (Tasha), Ninetythreerookieoftheyear (Paulie B.), Hastingsgirl (Rachel), Ari_freaking_gold (Todd), Citygirl0117 (Tina), Aka_rockin_canadian_girl (Dani), Mary_Christine21... etc. etc. etc... where are the morals?
I am not sure what category to put Sherry_Berry27 in... as I have not been able to confirm the rumour that she may have married xl_five_lx (Mitch) or not. I have confirmed though, that she has been phone-sperming some of the male chatters above, if not all, in recent weeks.
Most of you reading this I'm sure noticed that your name was not mentioned. I'm not sure if this is a good thing, or bad... though it does confirm you have no life! My apologies to those who I may have inadvertently left out.
Allow me to offer some advice to the chat 'scrap given to me by Buff_lincoln90210 one evening...
...Buff says that if you are looking to amp up your love life... then it is time to expand your social circle. Buff also says that the more people you know, the more you will mingle, and the more you mingle, then you are more than likely to meet 'The One'... or at least find a fun person to date for the time being.
Enjoy!
I agree with them, that you should explore various options in finding love... but are these people not married? Why do they still play the game?
I can understand where chatters may tickle their outdoor fancy, while other chatters may fulfill their penchant for hockey while visiting a chat room... but these married individuals seem to have taken it a step further and gone as far as to speaking on the phone numerous times throughout a given week with multiple NHL:1 chatters.
Where has the loyalty gone?
Instead of building a better relationship with their husbands or wives... who obviously only meet half their needs... (or at least they pay the bills) they would rather enjoy a day of hockey chat, or a night of cyber-sex with multiple chat partners like Zr22k, TML_fan_4_life, Flyereddie48, or Costergirl16.
I definitely agree that by expanding one's romantic options or multi dating on or offline can loosen up one's definition of his/her type and help one mingle with a vast array of potential mates out there, but once again... not if you are married.
In real-life, some male and female chatters have tossed away a good thing because their partner wasn't a 100% perfect match. I guess when you have the likes of single studs in chat like Ripstic5021 (Scott), Briereyote (Dean), Hotshotschamp (Chris), Thornton_19_ca, Forever_frantic (Linda) Fischer_Brittany... who have it all... they seem like quite the catch to any man or woman, married or not.
Back...
Okay... back to the dating world... the online universe, of course... where some chatters have a bustling social calendar that features more than one active, ongoing romance.
How about if you're not married, but you are in a relationship? Is it okay then to 'play around'? Is online flirtation and cyber-sex considered cheating? Many have voiced their opinions on this, and the vote is spilt... 50-50. Let me know what the rest of you think.
How does a chatter date this way without getting confused and creating embarrassing, news reel worthy moments? How can one do so without compromising one’s own morals or those of the sweeties involved?
Tell me Boltsgirlvl4 (Jill), Forsy_girl (Jenn) Antiwhy (Ryan), Talker_a_Talker (Jon), Jerzzzey (Paul), Shortybynature (Mandi), Sharks1419 (Allie), Butter_cup0 (Lindsay), Wildbp (Bill), Hovy_Kovy (Dave), Not2visible_31 (Tasha), Ninetythreerookieoftheyear (Paulie B.), Hastingsgirl (Rachel), Ari_freaking_gold (Todd), Citygirl0117 (Tina), Aka_rockin_canadian_girl (Dani), Mary_Christine21... etc. etc. etc... where are the morals?
I am not sure what category to put Sherry_Berry27 in... as I have not been able to confirm the rumour that she may have married xl_five_lx (Mitch) or not. I have confirmed though, that she has been phone-sperming some of the male chatters above, if not all, in recent weeks.
Most of you reading this I'm sure noticed that your name was not mentioned. I'm not sure if this is a good thing, or bad... though it does confirm you have no life! My apologies to those who I may have inadvertently left out.
Allow me to offer some advice to the chat 'scrap given to me by Buff_lincoln90210 one evening...
...Buff says that if you are looking to amp up your love life... then it is time to expand your social circle. Buff also says that the more people you know, the more you will mingle, and the more you mingle, then you are more than likely to meet 'The One'... or at least find a fun person to date for the time being.
Enjoy!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Fantasy Life...
"Dad, what is a Sonner, and why must you yell and scream at him each night... asks the eldest of three uneducated, home schooled children?" "And who is this Verian person whose name you scream out in your sleep?"
"When is mommy coming home, daddy... you said tomorrow... is it tomorrow yet, huh, huh, huh... asks the youngest?" "And will it be our first mommy, I likeded her bestest?"
"Ugh, Sir... ugh, Colonel Cuda, ugh, Private Pyle... ugh Dad... not Alpaca patties for breakfast again, eh... asks the third child?"
"I'll be in the bedroom, kids...tell me when the mailman gets here, I have a package for him." ;)
It probably started when Ross was young. Okay... honestly... I am not sure when it started, but for as long as I can remember, Ross has been living in a fantasy world. I heard he stares out into space from his bedroom window and creates a fantasy life... full of people that are real to him, once his kids have been given their orders.
I'm thinking Ross has been living in a fantasy land for most of his life, and doesn't know how to get out of it.
As Ross gets older... his fantasies develop... with histories and well developed stories... like how he can be a great husband, and how he will be a respected father, and of course... how one day he will be the Alpaca breeding guru of Canada.
Ross does this for hours each day... fantasizes... or at least whenever he has the chance. It is an escape that seemed rather harmless to him... at the time.
The problem is... Ross is not growing out of it. Instead, things are getting worse... and now he creates characters like... chat room lover... chat room war hero... chat room fantasy hockey General Manager. Well... at least one of his fantasies have come true. ;)
Now at 37... Ross has no friends, except for a few email friends. He speaks of 'family' that he does not spend much time with either. Could it be because he spends too much time in chat? Ross is so far into his own world that he never developed any empathy or connections with anyone real... claiming he just does not know how to talk or feel anything for them.
The only love and emotions he feels are for the people in his fantasy life... like Oz, who is his 'boss' and commissioner of his fantasy hockey league, or Nashvillepredsfan... the online love of his life. Ross will never admit to liking the Sonners, but deep down... I think we all know the truth.
Ross has no concept of fun, small talk, intelligent conversations, real life romance, or any emotions. He lives life largely alone. Some chatters smile and laugh on occasion and others think he is nice….but most think he is boring as fuck when you get to know him. He just has nothing to say... and soon the distance becomes obvious between him and most chatters of NHL:1.
He probably considers himself so old that he has no idea how to start learning basic communication skills to live in the real world, or even if that’s possible after living a fantasy life for so long. Ross sees things in such a simple... cold... direct way. He finds the shortest path to every place he goes. He dreams of love but has never felt it, not even for family or friends.
Rumour has it now, that his wife just left him again because she wants romance. Ross claims he does too... but it’s so far just a dream.
If with nothing else to do, Ross should be looking for a diagnosis. It would at least give him some peace of mind to know this is not his fault. How can a mistake he made when he was a child... dreaming too much... have made his life this way?
Ross technically is unemployed with no insurance and little funds, so he can't afford a therapist.
Is there anyone reading this that could possibly help Ross out, who has experienced the life in fantasy... and found his or her way out?
LOL!!!
Who am I kidding?
If you are reading this, you are probably in a fantasy world of your own too.
Wow... 39,683 hits... and counting... not bad for 9 months.
Who will be number 40,000?
How is 'thehockeyinstigator.blogspot.com' site going for you Oz?
Last post I saw, Oz, there were three comments... all mine... LOL!!!
I've been away for a few days, is there anything exciting out there that I should be made aware of?
"When is mommy coming home, daddy... you said tomorrow... is it tomorrow yet, huh, huh, huh... asks the youngest?" "And will it be our first mommy, I likeded her bestest?"
"Ugh, Sir... ugh, Colonel Cuda, ugh, Private Pyle... ugh Dad... not Alpaca patties for breakfast again, eh... asks the third child?"
"I'll be in the bedroom, kids...tell me when the mailman gets here, I have a package for him." ;)
It probably started when Ross was young. Okay... honestly... I am not sure when it started, but for as long as I can remember, Ross has been living in a fantasy world. I heard he stares out into space from his bedroom window and creates a fantasy life... full of people that are real to him, once his kids have been given their orders.
I'm thinking Ross has been living in a fantasy land for most of his life, and doesn't know how to get out of it.
As Ross gets older... his fantasies develop... with histories and well developed stories... like how he can be a great husband, and how he will be a respected father, and of course... how one day he will be the Alpaca breeding guru of Canada.
Ross does this for hours each day... fantasizes... or at least whenever he has the chance. It is an escape that seemed rather harmless to him... at the time.
The problem is... Ross is not growing out of it. Instead, things are getting worse... and now he creates characters like... chat room lover... chat room war hero... chat room fantasy hockey General Manager. Well... at least one of his fantasies have come true. ;)
Now at 37... Ross has no friends, except for a few email friends. He speaks of 'family' that he does not spend much time with either. Could it be because he spends too much time in chat? Ross is so far into his own world that he never developed any empathy or connections with anyone real... claiming he just does not know how to talk or feel anything for them.
The only love and emotions he feels are for the people in his fantasy life... like Oz, who is his 'boss' and commissioner of his fantasy hockey league, or Nashvillepredsfan... the online love of his life. Ross will never admit to liking the Sonners, but deep down... I think we all know the truth.
Ross has no concept of fun, small talk, intelligent conversations, real life romance, or any emotions. He lives life largely alone. Some chatters smile and laugh on occasion and others think he is nice….but most think he is boring as fuck when you get to know him. He just has nothing to say... and soon the distance becomes obvious between him and most chatters of NHL:1.
He probably considers himself so old that he has no idea how to start learning basic communication skills to live in the real world, or even if that’s possible after living a fantasy life for so long. Ross sees things in such a simple... cold... direct way. He finds the shortest path to every place he goes. He dreams of love but has never felt it, not even for family or friends.
Rumour has it now, that his wife just left him again because she wants romance. Ross claims he does too... but it’s so far just a dream.
If with nothing else to do, Ross should be looking for a diagnosis. It would at least give him some peace of mind to know this is not his fault. How can a mistake he made when he was a child... dreaming too much... have made his life this way?
Ross technically is unemployed with no insurance and little funds, so he can't afford a therapist.
Is there anyone reading this that could possibly help Ross out, who has experienced the life in fantasy... and found his or her way out?
LOL!!!
Who am I kidding?
If you are reading this, you are probably in a fantasy world of your own too.
Wow... 39,683 hits... and counting... not bad for 9 months.
Who will be number 40,000?
How is 'thehockeyinstigator.blogspot.com' site going for you Oz?
Last post I saw, Oz, there were three comments... all mine... LOL!!!
I've been away for a few days, is there anything exciting out there that I should be made aware of?
Sunday, June 15, 2008
In a perfect world... the right person for you would come strolling along your path. Your eyes would meet, you would date, and after a sperm session or two, a wedding would take place with you and your chosen one, with many wonderful children to follow.
However, what was just described above is not a regular or likely occurrence. LOL!!!
Sometimes, instead of eyes meeting across a beautiful field, a library, or grocery store... you meet in rather unlikely places. For example... dozens of people are building relationships online each day.
Would you like me to tell you why chat rooms are the best way to meet a person?
Back in the day of 'dating', men and women would go after each other based on appearance. Once they got through the looks... they would have to get through the first date and after that... depending on the individual... sex.
There is a reason the divorce rate in North America is over 50% if not higher. People used to get together for the wrong reasons and now they’re divorcing and moving on to find someone else.
Can you guess where they are heading? That is right, you guessed it... NHL:1 chat!
Once you have 'spermed' someone based on looks and the looks go away, what is left? You better hope you learned to love the person for who they are or you are in trouble. LOL!!!
Most might think that you have to sacrifice finding an attractive person while searching online, but you would be surprised.
Some of the most intelligent, HOT people are bantering away in our TRUE chat rooms right now.
When you chat with someone online, you don’t have to worry about anything but what is in their brain... right? You get to build a relationship based first on friendship, intelligence, and what you have in common, rather than looks alone... right?
If you want to go further, you can send him or her your picture (preferably real) or see theirs before you decide to do so. After that, you can even give them your number and move on to voice chat and an occasional sperm session.
So... with that said... how many of you are 'sperming' ugly people for all the right reasons?
How many of you are 'sperming' those HOT partners for all the wrong reasons?
However, what was just described above is not a regular or likely occurrence. LOL!!!
Sometimes, instead of eyes meeting across a beautiful field, a library, or grocery store... you meet in rather unlikely places. For example... dozens of people are building relationships online each day.
Would you like me to tell you why chat rooms are the best way to meet a person?
Back in the day of 'dating', men and women would go after each other based on appearance. Once they got through the looks... they would have to get through the first date and after that... depending on the individual... sex.
There is a reason the divorce rate in North America is over 50% if not higher. People used to get together for the wrong reasons and now they’re divorcing and moving on to find someone else.
Can you guess where they are heading? That is right, you guessed it... NHL:1 chat!
Once you have 'spermed' someone based on looks and the looks go away, what is left? You better hope you learned to love the person for who they are or you are in trouble. LOL!!!
Most might think that you have to sacrifice finding an attractive person while searching online, but you would be surprised.
Some of the most intelligent, HOT people are bantering away in our TRUE chat rooms right now.
When you chat with someone online, you don’t have to worry about anything but what is in their brain... right? You get to build a relationship based first on friendship, intelligence, and what you have in common, rather than looks alone... right?
If you want to go further, you can send him or her your picture (preferably real) or see theirs before you decide to do so. After that, you can even give them your number and move on to voice chat and an occasional sperm session.
So... with that said... how many of you are 'sperming' ugly people for all the right reasons?
How many of you are 'sperming' those HOT partners for all the wrong reasons?
Happy Father's Day...
A father is someone who...
listens with his heart,
speaks with his hugs,
and teaches not by words, but by example...
Though most of the fathers I have come across in NHL:1 will never win Father of the Year... I would still like to wish you a Happy Father's Day.
listens with his heart,
speaks with his hugs,
and teaches not by words, but by example...
Though most of the fathers I have come across in NHL:1 will never win Father of the Year... I would still like to wish you a Happy Father's Day.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Costergirl16 near 'Cide...
hockeygurl1999: hi
hoffa75ca:
do i know you???
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: ive see u here a few times
hoffa75ca: no shit
hockeygurl1999: lol i just remember u being a leafs fan, no?
hoffa75ca: yeah
hockeygurl1999: who did they hire as their coach?
hoffa75ca: no clue
hockeygurl1999: some wilson guy
hoffa75ca: ive been super busy working
hockeygurl1999: im not sure who
hockeygurl1999: oh ok
hockeygurl1999: cool
hoffa75ca: not really the gf is freaking out cause i don't spend enough time with her
hockeygurl1999: slow down life is too short hehehe
hockeygurl1999: awwwwwww
hoffa75ca: our work schudles don't match
hockeygurl1999: girls can be sensitive like that hehehe
hoffa75ca: brb need a beer
hockeygurl1999: ok
hoffa75ca: back
hockeygurl1999: wb
hoffa75ca: ty
hockeygurl1999: i have one coming too, right? hehe
hockeygurl1999: jk
hoffa75ca: what a beer?
hockeygurl1999: lol
hockeygurl1999: yeah
hockeygurl1999: lol some people are rude in here
hoffa75ca: well i only have 3 left lol
hockeygurl1999: lol at only
hoffa75ca: no not in NHL:1
hockeygurl1999: you keep them then
hoffa75ca:
hockeygurl1999: hehe was that sarcasm
hoffa75ca: i know
hockeygurl1999: i pmd that hop person and they said hop_on_wingswagon_chat_scrap: fuck off hoehockeygurl1999: rude
hoffa75ca: does that surprise you
hockeygurl1999: i havent been in here in months
hockeygurl1999: i dont remember some of these people
hoffa75ca: for the most part the "sonners" have taken over
hockeygurl1999: i like the jocko guy and jerzey
hoffa75ca: jocko is cool
hoffa75ca: don't really know jerzey
hockeygurl1999: lol OMG i pmd that bob person and they sent me bobbob303: read this http://compulsive-sonner.blogspot.com/
hockeygurl1999: lol at you saying sonners when i got that
hockeygurl1999: what is a sonor
hockeygurl1999: *sonner
hoffa75ca: a fuckin waste of skin
hoffa75ca: evolutionary fuck up
hockeygurl1999: some of the things in there are hilarious
hockeygurl1999: some rude
hoffa75ca: cutie is ok
hockeygurl1999: did they send you that too?
hoffa75ca: real funny
hoffa75ca: i don't pm
hockeygurl1999: cool i'll ask her
hockeygurl1999: wonder if she's a Leafs fan hehe
hoffa75ca: nope sens fan
hockeygurl1999: enemy
hockeygurl1999: lol
hoffa75ca: well the leafs suck but they are still my team lol
hockeygurl1999: lol mine too
hoffa75ca: damm i gotta drink this headake away fucking crazy day at work
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: they have aspirin for that
hoffa75ca: its from stress i took 2 tylenol 3's didn't do shit
hockeygurl1999: oh my
hockeygurl1999: must be a big one
hoffa75ca: like i said crazy day at work
hockeygurl1999: yeah sounds like it
hockeygurl1999: it'll be ok
hockeygurl1999: do you and your gf live together
hoffa75ca: not yet
hockeygurl1999: she'll make it better later
hoffa75ca: thats what im planning on
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: only got about 4 1/2 hours sleep last night
hockeygurl1999: hehe tell her to let you sleep
hoffa75ca: fuck that im a man i get it when i can lol
hockeygurl1999: ha! and when she wants it you have a headache i bet
hockeygurl1999: men
hoffa75ca: never
hockeygurl1999: i dont have a bf
hoffa75ca: why not?
hockeygurl1999: men suck
hoffa75ca: no girls suck men lick
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999:
hehehockeygurl1999: not all men
hockeygurl1999: selfish bastards
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: well ones that want to keep there gf's do
hockeygurl1999: lol
hockeygurl1999: my last bf like me to rub myself while i went down on him
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: said it was a turn on
hockeygurl1999: TMI i know lol
hoffa75ca: a little
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: im kinda shy lol
hockeygurl1999: lol yeah right
hoffa75ca: really iam
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: shush
hoffa75ca: well for sure iam the type not to kiss and tell lol
hockeygurl1999: lol
hoffa75ca: brb
hockeygurl1999: kk
hoffa75ca: sorry about that had to get dressed lol
hockeygurl1999: lol
hockeygurl1999: did i slowly have you undressed hehe
hoffa75ca: lol
hoffa75ca: i came home and took off my stinky work clothes
hockeygurl1999: lol
hoffa75ca: i work in quality control at a fish plant
hockeygurl1999: admit it you stripped for me hehe
hockeygurl1999: stinky
hoffa75ca: very
hoffa75ca: reminds me of some of my ex gf's
hockeygurl1999: hey now that was mean lol
hoffa75ca: i was joking lol
hockeygurl1999: i can assure you i dont smell like fish hehe
hoffa75ca: k gotta run to get more beer brb
hockeygurl1999: k
hoffa75ca: k back
hockeygurl1999: wb
hoffa75ca: ty
hoffa75ca: damm its been raining here all fucking day
hockeygurl1999: sorry i was looking up hockey news
hockeygurl1999: has it really
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: Ron Wilson Leafs coach?
hoffa75ca: yeah it sucks
hoffa75ca: i never heard
hockeygurl1999: i found it
hoffa75ca: ok wasn't he the sharks coach a few years ago
hockeygurl1999: yes
hoffa75ca: surpised i knew that my head is pounding
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: thats why i went to get more beer lol
hockeygurl1999: what time is your gf coming over
hoffa75ca: not sure she is still at work then has to take her daughter out shopping for stuff i might be passed out by then
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: awwwww a little girl
hockeygurl1999: sweet
hoffa75ca: fucking yahoo just booted me
hoffa75ca: no she is almost 17
hockeygurl1999: lol you missed me talking dirty to you hehe
hockeygurl1999: wow a big girl
hoffa75ca: lol talking dirty
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: and you missed it
hockeygurl1999:
hoffa75ca: well im here now lol
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: do we have time to get down and dirty hehe
hoffa75ca: if you want
hockeygurl1999: kinda
hoffa75ca: well go for it
hockeygurl1999: can i call you and do it i dont know what to type hehe
hoffa75ca: ahhh i dunno
hoffa75ca: id feel quilty
hoffa75ca: sorry
hockeygurl1999: boo
hoffa75ca: i don't really know you sorry
hockeygurl1999: but i understand
hoffa75ca: good im faithfull to my gf her name is nora and she treats me so well
hockeygurl1999: awwwwwwwww
hockeygurl1999: you've been dating a long time i take it
hockeygurl1999: lucky girl
hoffa75ca: well not that long about 5 months but i guess you could say we are pretty serious
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: k, how about if we type it out
hockeygurl1999: less guilt
hoffa75ca: how about we just be friends ok im sorry im sure you a super hot girl
hockeygurl1999: awwww but you aww nevermind
hoffa75ca: what?? tell me please???
hoffa75ca: well ok lets get freaky lol
hoffa75ca: its all in fun right??
hockeygurl1999: k, cuz im going without you hehe
hockeygurl1999: no, i expect a ring when we're done silly of course it's all in fun
hoffa75ca: well go then you start
hockeygurl1999: kk, let me lock my door
hoffa75ca: lol
hockeygurl1999: k, i just dont want anyone cumming in except for you hehe
hoffa75ca: ok
hoffa75ca: tell me what your wearing or what your not wearing
hockeygurl1999: booted hehe
hockeygurl1999: back
hoffa75ca: k
hockeygurl1999: it's cool that i'll be 18 in August right
hoffa75ca: ahhh not really holy shit
hoffa75ca: im fucking 33
hockeygurl1999: it was only fair to tell you
hockeygurl1999: 33 cool
hockeygurl1999: i like older guys hehe
hoffa75ca: k im sorry but your realy freaking me out i gotta go
hockeygurl1999: awwww baby
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: can i add you
hoffa75ca: fuck you could be a cop
hockeygurl1999: baby?
hockeygurl1999: you there?
hockeygurl1999: James?
hoffa75ca:
do i know you???
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: ive see u here a few times
hoffa75ca: no shit
hockeygurl1999: lol i just remember u being a leafs fan, no?
hoffa75ca: yeah
hockeygurl1999: who did they hire as their coach?
hoffa75ca: no clue
hockeygurl1999: some wilson guy
hoffa75ca: ive been super busy working
hockeygurl1999: im not sure who
hockeygurl1999: oh ok
hockeygurl1999: cool
hoffa75ca: not really the gf is freaking out cause i don't spend enough time with her
hockeygurl1999: slow down life is too short hehehe
hockeygurl1999: awwwwwww
hoffa75ca: our work schudles don't match
hockeygurl1999: girls can be sensitive like that hehehe
hoffa75ca: brb need a beer
hockeygurl1999: ok
hoffa75ca: back
hockeygurl1999: wb
hoffa75ca: ty
hockeygurl1999: i have one coming too, right? hehe
hockeygurl1999: jk
hoffa75ca: what a beer?
hockeygurl1999: lol
hockeygurl1999: yeah
hockeygurl1999: lol some people are rude in here
hoffa75ca: well i only have 3 left lol
hockeygurl1999: lol at only
hoffa75ca: no not in NHL:1
hockeygurl1999: you keep them then
hoffa75ca:
hockeygurl1999: hehe was that sarcasm
hoffa75ca: i know
hockeygurl1999: i pmd that hop person and they said hop_on_wingswagon_chat_scrap: fuck off hoehockeygurl1999: rude
hoffa75ca: does that surprise you
hockeygurl1999: i havent been in here in months
hockeygurl1999: i dont remember some of these people
hoffa75ca: for the most part the "sonners" have taken over
hockeygurl1999: i like the jocko guy and jerzey
hoffa75ca: jocko is cool
hoffa75ca: don't really know jerzey
hockeygurl1999: lol OMG i pmd that bob person and they sent me bobbob303: read this http://compulsive-sonner.blogspot.com/
hockeygurl1999: lol at you saying sonners when i got that
hockeygurl1999: what is a sonor
hockeygurl1999: *sonner
hoffa75ca: a fuckin waste of skin
hoffa75ca: evolutionary fuck up
hockeygurl1999: some of the things in there are hilarious
hockeygurl1999: some rude
hoffa75ca: cutie is ok
hockeygurl1999: did they send you that too?
hoffa75ca: real funny
hoffa75ca: i don't pm
hockeygurl1999: cool i'll ask her
hockeygurl1999: wonder if she's a Leafs fan hehe
hoffa75ca: nope sens fan
hockeygurl1999: enemy
hockeygurl1999: lol
hoffa75ca: well the leafs suck but they are still my team lol
hockeygurl1999: lol mine too
hoffa75ca: damm i gotta drink this headake away fucking crazy day at work
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: they have aspirin for that
hoffa75ca: its from stress i took 2 tylenol 3's didn't do shit
hockeygurl1999: oh my
hockeygurl1999: must be a big one
hoffa75ca: like i said crazy day at work
hockeygurl1999: yeah sounds like it
hockeygurl1999: it'll be ok
hockeygurl1999: do you and your gf live together
hoffa75ca: not yet
hockeygurl1999: she'll make it better later
hoffa75ca: thats what im planning on
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: only got about 4 1/2 hours sleep last night
hockeygurl1999: hehe tell her to let you sleep
hoffa75ca: fuck that im a man i get it when i can lol
hockeygurl1999: ha! and when she wants it you have a headache i bet
hockeygurl1999: men
hoffa75ca: never
hockeygurl1999: i dont have a bf
hoffa75ca: why not?
hockeygurl1999: men suck
hoffa75ca: no girls suck men lick
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999:
hehehockeygurl1999: not all men
hockeygurl1999: selfish bastards
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: well ones that want to keep there gf's do
hockeygurl1999: lol
hockeygurl1999: my last bf like me to rub myself while i went down on him
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: said it was a turn on
hockeygurl1999: TMI i know lol
hoffa75ca: a little
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: im kinda shy lol
hockeygurl1999: lol yeah right
hoffa75ca: really iam
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: shush
hoffa75ca: well for sure iam the type not to kiss and tell lol
hockeygurl1999: lol
hoffa75ca: brb
hockeygurl1999: kk
hoffa75ca: sorry about that had to get dressed lol
hockeygurl1999: lol
hockeygurl1999: did i slowly have you undressed hehe
hoffa75ca: lol
hoffa75ca: i came home and took off my stinky work clothes
hockeygurl1999: lol
hoffa75ca: i work in quality control at a fish plant
hockeygurl1999: admit it you stripped for me hehe
hockeygurl1999: stinky
hoffa75ca: very
hoffa75ca: reminds me of some of my ex gf's
hockeygurl1999: hey now that was mean lol
hoffa75ca: i was joking lol
hockeygurl1999: i can assure you i dont smell like fish hehe
hoffa75ca: k gotta run to get more beer brb
hockeygurl1999: k
hoffa75ca: k back
hockeygurl1999: wb
hoffa75ca: ty
hoffa75ca: damm its been raining here all fucking day
hockeygurl1999: sorry i was looking up hockey news
hockeygurl1999: has it really
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: Ron Wilson Leafs coach?
hoffa75ca: yeah it sucks
hoffa75ca: i never heard
hockeygurl1999: i found it
hoffa75ca: ok wasn't he the sharks coach a few years ago
hockeygurl1999: yes
hoffa75ca: surpised i knew that my head is pounding
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hoffa75ca: thats why i went to get more beer lol
hockeygurl1999: what time is your gf coming over
hoffa75ca: not sure she is still at work then has to take her daughter out shopping for stuff i might be passed out by then
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: hehe
hockeygurl1999: awwwww a little girl
hockeygurl1999: sweet
hoffa75ca: fucking yahoo just booted me
hoffa75ca: no she is almost 17
hockeygurl1999: lol you missed me talking dirty to you hehe
hockeygurl1999: wow a big girl
hoffa75ca: lol talking dirty
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: and you missed it
hockeygurl1999:
hoffa75ca: well im here now lol
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: do we have time to get down and dirty hehe
hoffa75ca: if you want
hockeygurl1999: kinda
hoffa75ca: well go for it
hockeygurl1999: can i call you and do it i dont know what to type hehe
hoffa75ca: ahhh i dunno
hoffa75ca: id feel quilty
hoffa75ca: sorry
hockeygurl1999: boo
hoffa75ca: i don't really know you sorry
hockeygurl1999: but i understand
hoffa75ca: good im faithfull to my gf her name is nora and she treats me so well
hockeygurl1999: awwwwwwwww
hockeygurl1999: you've been dating a long time i take it
hockeygurl1999: lucky girl
hoffa75ca: well not that long about 5 months but i guess you could say we are pretty serious
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: k, how about if we type it out
hockeygurl1999: less guilt
hoffa75ca: how about we just be friends ok im sorry im sure you a super hot girl
hockeygurl1999: awwww but you aww nevermind
hoffa75ca: what?? tell me please???
hoffa75ca: well ok lets get freaky lol
hoffa75ca: its all in fun right??
hockeygurl1999: k, cuz im going without you hehe
hockeygurl1999: no, i expect a ring when we're done silly of course it's all in fun
hoffa75ca: well go then you start
hockeygurl1999: kk, let me lock my door
hoffa75ca: lol
hockeygurl1999: k, i just dont want anyone cumming in except for you hehe
hoffa75ca: ok
hoffa75ca: tell me what your wearing or what your not wearing
hockeygurl1999: booted hehe
hockeygurl1999: back
hoffa75ca: k
hockeygurl1999: it's cool that i'll be 18 in August right
hoffa75ca: ahhh not really holy shit
hoffa75ca: im fucking 33
hockeygurl1999: it was only fair to tell you
hockeygurl1999: 33 cool
hockeygurl1999: i like older guys hehe
hoffa75ca: k im sorry but your realy freaking me out i gotta go
hockeygurl1999: awwww baby
hockeygurl1999:
hockeygurl1999: can i add you
hoffa75ca: fuck you could be a cop
hockeygurl1999: baby?
hockeygurl1999: you there?
hockeygurl1999: James?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Chatters seem to believe the internet is full of millions of lonely, socially inept dweebs desperately masturbating with other lonely, socially inept dweebs pretending to be porn stars.
Having recently tried to find good cybersex myself, I see why it's taking them so long. LOL!!! J/K.
"Where has all the good cyber gone?" "How do I find someone to have cybersex with?"
I seem to see these questions thrown about in chat rooms quite often. My answer to those that ask me is of course... "NHL:1 is the place to go!"
What people don't realize is that it's hard to find good sex online if you're a woman, and hard to find sex at all if you're a man.
If you're not willing to make the investment of 30 minutes in NHL:1, then go to a cam site and pay to play instead.
I've been telling chatters from other rooms to come by NHL:1 and visit for some flirting and possible orgasm sharing. Lord knows we can use some fresh meat... both male and female.
If one is male and is looking for and easy 'cyber' look up one of the following:
Nashvillepredsfan - Dana
Northerncutie08 - Tracy
Berrybusygirl - Debbie
Steelerschik - Leesa
Hockeytard - Lindsay
Fischer.Brittany - Brittany
Mary_Christine21 - Mary
Not2visible_31 - Tasha
Citygirl0117 - Tina
Boltsgirlvl4 - Jill
Shortybynature - Mandi
Sherry_Berry27 - Sherry
If one is female, from what I've heard... any of the following males will do.
Cudaguy - Ross
Tml_fan_4_life - Chris
Phaneuf_is_god - Todd
Muchobulls - John
Booman2k0 - Chris
Flyereddie48 - Eddie
Talker_a_talker - Jon
Hotshotschamp - Chris
lllxxx_king_of_kings_lllxxx - Oz
Vicesandhabits - Jimmy
Hovy_kovy - Dave
Wildbp - Bill
It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity. Did I mention that most of the above ARE in a committed relationship?
Some cyber partners from NHL:1 ended up leaving the virtual space to get married from what I have heard... but more on that later. My suggestion, hit it and quit it... and click the 'X' as soon as possible.
Anyway... some helpful hints... for both men and women.
1. Before becoming involved in any kind of cybersex please make sure your spouse, boyfriend, kids, etc. are out of the room at the time.
2. For men, before you begin, please check that your modem protector is on, along with the splash guard for your keyboard.
3. For women, no matter what you are truly wearing, such as, sweat pants, sweat shirt, torn bathrobe, slippers, t-shirt with stains on the front, bloomer underwear that could cover a car or be used for a parachute, always tell your potential cyber partner you are wearing a thong, garter belt with black stockings, and your best wonderbra.
4. If the cyber begins to get very hot please refrain from straddling your monitor, there are many potential emergency room stories to be told if you get overly excited, not to mention the many years of therapy to get you to let go and not continue this sordid affair with your 15" screen.
5. If the cyber is not going well, please let the other person know in the best way you can. It is not very polite to tell them that you are doing your nails, have just made up your grocery list for the next month, shingled the house, pulled out one of your wisdom teeth because you were bored, would rather read the instructions on how to set the time on your VCR, checked your fridge to make sure the light still works when you open the door, and last but not least, stuck your tongue to an ice cube tray to stop the monotony.
6. When it really starts getting hot and heavy, please check your spelling before you send that embarrassing typo, i.e., oh baby, let me suck on those beautiful beasts of yours. I just love your hot, wet posse. Oh baby, you have such a big coke. Thats it baby, show me that beautiful clint, and the proverbial oh fork me hard!
7. Once both cyberpartners have been satisfied, or faked satisfaction, at least say thank you. Thank you can mean, thank God its over, or THANK YOU because you truly had a wonderful time.
8. If it was a truly bad experience, do not feel pressured into ever having cybersex with this person again.
9. Last but not least, remember that cybersex will not make you go blind, unless you keep all the lights out in the house while having it, watching the screen in the dark does make your eyes burn. Realize that you may be addicted if your real life partner walks by naked and you'd rather be typing with one hand and still trying to keep a steady rhythm going. Sex can be just as nice with a partner you know. And just for variety, when your right hand gets tired, try dating your left hand for something different.
Until your next hot session....cyber on my friends!
Having recently tried to find good cybersex myself, I see why it's taking them so long. LOL!!! J/K.
"Where has all the good cyber gone?" "How do I find someone to have cybersex with?"
I seem to see these questions thrown about in chat rooms quite often. My answer to those that ask me is of course... "NHL:1 is the place to go!"
What people don't realize is that it's hard to find good sex online if you're a woman, and hard to find sex at all if you're a man.
If you're not willing to make the investment of 30 minutes in NHL:1, then go to a cam site and pay to play instead.
I've been telling chatters from other rooms to come by NHL:1 and visit for some flirting and possible orgasm sharing. Lord knows we can use some fresh meat... both male and female.
If one is male and is looking for and easy 'cyber' look up one of the following:
Nashvillepredsfan - Dana
Northerncutie08 - Tracy
Berrybusygirl - Debbie
Steelerschik - Leesa
Hockeytard - Lindsay
Fischer.Brittany - Brittany
Mary_Christine21 - Mary
Not2visible_31 - Tasha
Citygirl0117 - Tina
Boltsgirlvl4 - Jill
Shortybynature - Mandi
Sherry_Berry27 - Sherry
If one is female, from what I've heard... any of the following males will do.
Cudaguy - Ross
Tml_fan_4_life - Chris
Phaneuf_is_god - Todd
Muchobulls - John
Booman2k0 - Chris
Flyereddie48 - Eddie
Talker_a_talker - Jon
Hotshotschamp - Chris
lllxxx_king_of_kings_lllxxx - Oz
Vicesandhabits - Jimmy
Hovy_kovy - Dave
Wildbp - Bill
It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity. Did I mention that most of the above ARE in a committed relationship?
Some cyber partners from NHL:1 ended up leaving the virtual space to get married from what I have heard... but more on that later. My suggestion, hit it and quit it... and click the 'X' as soon as possible.
Anyway... some helpful hints... for both men and women.
1. Before becoming involved in any kind of cybersex please make sure your spouse, boyfriend, kids, etc. are out of the room at the time.
2. For men, before you begin, please check that your modem protector is on, along with the splash guard for your keyboard.
3. For women, no matter what you are truly wearing, such as, sweat pants, sweat shirt, torn bathrobe, slippers, t-shirt with stains on the front, bloomer underwear that could cover a car or be used for a parachute, always tell your potential cyber partner you are wearing a thong, garter belt with black stockings, and your best wonderbra.
4. If the cyber begins to get very hot please refrain from straddling your monitor, there are many potential emergency room stories to be told if you get overly excited, not to mention the many years of therapy to get you to let go and not continue this sordid affair with your 15" screen.
5. If the cyber is not going well, please let the other person know in the best way you can. It is not very polite to tell them that you are doing your nails, have just made up your grocery list for the next month, shingled the house, pulled out one of your wisdom teeth because you were bored, would rather read the instructions on how to set the time on your VCR, checked your fridge to make sure the light still works when you open the door, and last but not least, stuck your tongue to an ice cube tray to stop the monotony.
6. When it really starts getting hot and heavy, please check your spelling before you send that embarrassing typo, i.e., oh baby, let me suck on those beautiful beasts of yours. I just love your hot, wet posse. Oh baby, you have such a big coke. Thats it baby, show me that beautiful clint, and the proverbial oh fork me hard!
7. Once both cyberpartners have been satisfied, or faked satisfaction, at least say thank you. Thank you can mean, thank God its over, or THANK YOU because you truly had a wonderful time.
8. If it was a truly bad experience, do not feel pressured into ever having cybersex with this person again.
9. Last but not least, remember that cybersex will not make you go blind, unless you keep all the lights out in the house while having it, watching the screen in the dark does make your eyes burn. Realize that you may be addicted if your real life partner walks by naked and you'd rather be typing with one hand and still trying to keep a steady rhythm going. Sex can be just as nice with a partner you know. And just for variety, when your right hand gets tired, try dating your left hand for something different.
Until your next hot session....cyber on my friends!
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