Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Jocko was last seen in...

So, Jocko went down to Jamaica
He was looking to sell some weed
he was doing fine, people standing in line
it was excellent weed indeed

He came across a young man, who was likewise peddling pot
then Jocko slid down the beach and said, boy let me tell you what,
I guess you kinda figured, I'm a reefer head of course
and after all this time I guess, I'm a connoisseur
of sorts

Now your stuff does smell okay, but can it tranquilize a horse
I bet a million in cash against your stash, that mine is better then yours.
the boy said my name is Ripstic and you ain't smoked nothing yet
one hit of this grass will kick your ass, you got yourself a bet

Ripstic rolls a ball of hash and makes sure it's the bomb
because Jocko has the kinda stuff, they smoke in Vietnam
you'll get a million smackaroos in cash if you can cope
but if you can't then bitch, then I get all your dope

Jocko then packed a bong with a little Acapulco Gold
and resin flew from his fingertips as he fired up his bowl
he filled that chamber all the way and he took a mighty hit
and as they passed it back and forth it gave them both a coughing fit

when the bowl was finished Ripstic said, hey man that stuff was great
but fill your lungs with some of this, and prepare to vegetate

cannibas sativa, sweet mary jane
Jocko is in the back yard, frying up his brain
zig zag filled with a diggidy dank
hold on tight it'll hit you like a tank

Jocko nodded off, because he knew that he was stoned
and he asked if he could buy an ounce, of the stuff that Ripstic owned
Ripstic said, Jocko just come on back if you ever want to catch a buzz
I done told you once you son of a bitch, mine is the best there ever was

Thursday, March 12, 2009

...Who's to judge?...

When someone uses the words 'men' and 'rebound' in the same sentence, male minds will quickly conjure up thoughts of their favorite basketball team or player. Women, of course, understand that one is addressing the rushing into a new relationship after the ending of an old one.

So what causes a man to so quickly move on from a chat ho in... let's say Texas... to the arms of a chat ho in... let's say, Canada? Understandably... you might think it has to do with him not being particularly invested in his relationship with the Texas chat ho. I'm thinking due to the speed of his action, that he wasn't at all broken up about the Texas chat ho, and that he had no deep feelings for her like he claimed. Also, he was heard humming in NHL:1, “Another One Bites The Dust” to his listeners 20 minutes after the break-up.

What should that tell his next victim?

When his relationship 'crumbled' before him, it probably caused a huge emotional void. Unlike the chat ho of Texas, he didn't have the social support network(friends list) to console him in his time of pain and sadness. He couldn't cry to his friends, seek solace from previous chat loves, or drown his feelings in a gallon of chocolate ice cream. If he thought that kind behavior would be acceptable, he might engage in it. Like most men, he too is aware that stoicism, soldiering on, and “walking it off” are fundamental guidelines in the male handbook, and breaching these would cause him to be a target of ridicule, pity and serious lampooning from his male chat mates.

So what was he to do? You know he's hurting, but he can’t tell anyone. Grieving and wallowing alone is likely to lead to consuming mass quantities of Jim Beam, to dull the pain. I'm thinking he realized that with limited options available, he had to quickly move to contain his about-to-erupt emotions by filling the vacuum created by the demise of his previous relationship.

And how does he do this?

By seeking out someone else to focus his attention on, both emotional and sexual. And the sooner, the better, for it is this new woman who heals his wounds by allowing him to step back into the comfortable, acceptable space of being the tough, unruffled, man that he is supposed to be. She facilitates his return to a state of being where he can once again feel masculine and in control of himself and his emotions. Order is restored and all is right in NHL:1 again.

So... can it can be stated that the speed in which a man moves from a bitter break-up to a new love, is directly proportional to the pain he’s feeling? Is the deeper the hurt the quicker the hook-up?

Or is it proportional to the fact that he is not emotionally invested in any of his chat hos... and rather than being emotionally invested, he's only with them for the sake of being with someone?

So if you see your ex in the arms of another while in NHL:1 within days (or hours) of your break-up, don’t write him off as a horny, uncaring, slime-bucket. Instead, recognize that he was deeply hurt by the end of your relationship and is doing the best he can to mend his broken heart. With that understanding in place, it is perfectly okay to go home and cut his head out of all the photos of him you own (if he sent you any), and burn them at your next barbecue.

Hey, he deals with his pain one way, those that are jealous, deal with it another way.