Learn to 'Son'...

Have you ever wanted to intimidate your enemy chatters with ridiculous words that may or may not be true? Ever wanted to talk about their mothers while playing a friendly game of Halo, or while sitting in a chat room with nothing better to do in life? If so, this post could be for you.

First, you losers, who try so hard... (cck2ca. edbeldrunk, flyereddie48, etc)... you must identify the situation. If you are only joking around with your fellow chatters in NHL:1, then meaningless jests about each other's mothers or of fantasy rosters is usually the most effective way to go... that is if your name is zr22k or kingovspades.

Continue to talk about your unending skill in whatever activity you are currently enga0ged in. Even if these statements are not true, use them! False 'Sonning' is equally effective as true 'Sonning' (although sometimes you will have to back it up)... that is if your name is wildbp or talker_a_talker.

Repeat the above as necessary. If you feel that your 'Sonning' is ineffective, it's probably a good idea to stop, right cck2ca? Many chatters have built an immunity to trash talking and therefore it doesn't affect them at all, right hotshotschamp? If you run across this kind of person, your best call is to just shut your mouth and own them at whatever you are doing, like fantasy sporting events. If this happens, it is much easier to trash talk that person next time you challenge them at this particular event, that is if you're allowed to participate again.

In the event that you're getting your arse sonned, remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible, right chat 'scrap such as edbel, cck2ca, and too many others to list? If many people see / read your 'sons' and then see you get 'sonned', no one will respect you. Also, your opponent could make you look like a bigger faggit than you already are. If you feel you are losing... abort!!!. Continuing will only make your downfall even worse.

Try some of these tips to bolster your skills, cck2ca -

• Be extremely loud by typing in all capitals. This triggers a pain receptor in the brain and therefor you could actually force your opponent to feel pain just by "yelling' at them, right bradshaw?
  
• Talking about things your opponent can't control is a great strategy, like "look at how much fun we're having in our fantasy leagues without the likes of you"...
  
• Using big words, that have a good meaning behind them, also work. Your opponent will not know what the words mean, therefore they become speech less.. right wildbp, mounta_oo or paulie B.?
  

7 Simple Rules of Chat...

For those of you who are recent newbies to this blog or even original addicted viewers... you unfortunately know very little about me beyond what you read in my profile. Most of you by now have figured out that my profile is as credible as wildbp's love for chat hos... and that I am not willc49er.

What has been hurting me deeply as of late is that I feel I know you all so much better than you know me. Some of you THINK you know me, which makes it fucking with you even more hilarious. (Just to let you know, my lawyers have advised me to reveal myself as to avoid any more legal action that has been taken up against me. I was like..." thanks, but no thanks... let them pursue.")

Anyway, I have spent the last year or so bouncing around chat rooms, specifically, NHL:1, and I have learned many a thing in that past year. Per the request of so many readers, I graciously shared those chat stories with you. Now it seems that I have offended a few people and have overstepped my boundaries. I generally posted what chatters put out on their own or spoke of over the microphone. Sadly, some thought I was the asshole. But it's you... the chatters... might I remind you, that write this blog. YOU put your business out there for others to read / hear / and see. I only posted as a convenience for those that were not present at the time that wanted to be kept up on the drama.

Now I'm thinking maybe one more post, then wrapping it up. A post on chat room survival.



Rule #1: Don't use your real name.

Okay, maybe your first name is okay. The point being that a simple Google search on one's full name will reveal, piece by piece, lies, personal information, lies, and yeah... more lies. You'll embarrass yourself, you'll leave chat for a day, you'll come back under a 'lurking ID' and get even more upset at seeing fellow chatters are still talking about you. Which takes us to...

Rule #2: It is only a chat room, therefore, DO NOT TAKE WHAT IS SAID IN IT SERIOUSLY.

I repeat, DO NOT TAKE WHAT IS SAID IN CHAT SERIOUSLY. I've seen and heard of way too much heartache because chatters took what was said with 100% seriousness. Remember, this is the Internet. Which takes us to...

Rule #3: Chatters say things that they wouldn't dare say in real life. Some people lie in order to build up their tiny self esteem so as to make themselves feel superior. So keep in mind that when a chatter starts spewing anger, dropping F-bombs, throwing out 'sons', and starts telling 'your momma jokes'... there is no reason to run, cry, hide, etc. Strong chatters learn from these experiences. Which leads us to...

Rule #4: Constructive debate is a good thing. You can actually learn a lot and make friends while constructively debating a topic or constructively talking about a topic. Some chatters have made a ton of friends during my time spent in NHL:1. I have found that if you treat people the way you want to be treated (just like in real life), more often than not, they'll have your back if a particular discussion you're participating in happens to turn nasty. Pussies that use ignore, raise the white flag, talk shit behind other chatters back are the biggest losers of chat rooms. Which leads us to...


Rule #5: Being able to control the situation 100% of the time. When a discussion turns nasty and the venom (or in some cases sperm) seems to hitting from all sides, don't respond in the same way. Rise above it all. Keep cool and stay the course, because if you do, the more irrational the chatters (or sonners) get, but more importantly, you'll get respect from others who may not agree with your point of view, but will admire what you do.

See, I've been able to deal with troublesome people simply by keeping my chatting in a room rational, thoughtful and respectful. Troublesome people hate that. The more rational I get, the more erratic and hysterical chatters get. More importantly, I can find a person's button to push with my viewpoint and hammer it home with enough efficiency to make an interrogator proud. But if that is not possible, then...


Rule #5: If you need to fight fire with fire, do it in a way that doesn't make you look like a piece of chat 'scrap.There have been many chat sessions where I've had to fight fire with fire. I've ripped chatters apart the 'Leatherface" way (chain saw jobs) but with razor-like efficiency. I don't normally recommend doing this, (mainly because you can't) but if you need to seriously reign in a piece of chat 'scrap that is creating havoc for you and your chat mates, this is the way to go. First off, find that particular something that you know will set them off, and secondly, keep working it until they implode. Sonning 101!

Rule #6: Keep your chatters close by not giving them too much ammo. I know that this sounds really strange, but if you want to stay friends with the chatters you meet, don't give them too much personal info. Only give them what you're willing to share with everyone else online, because you can never tell what that person is really like in the real world. I've seen firsthand, the total destruction of people's personal lives, simply because one party got offended over an imagined or real slight, and decided to get even by using info that was given to them in confidence. To this day, I'm very leery of what might happen to me with some of the leftover info that former friends still have on me, which really isn't much, as I live by 7 Simple Rules of Chat.

Rule #7: Don't be afraid to report someone.Seriously, if you're being stalked, harassed or made to look like fool (trust me, there are ways), report the troublesome person. I haven't much to say on this rule. If more information is needed, get with your local piece of chat 'scrap in NHL:1.

So my fellow chatters, bloggers, sonners and yes you too, chat 'scrap... if you remember these 7 Simple Rules of Chat, then you'll always have a decent time participating in NHL:1 or any other chat rooms.

Okay, I've done my part in trying to rebuild NHL:1... what will you do?

Wow, all that typing and I only brought up the names of 2 chatters.

I wonder if I'll be allowed to recieve comments, or will I be shut down. If so, please comment responsibly.

Look who's back...

I have been slapped on the back of the wrist and have paid the price.

I have been given my ink back... with one rule to follow... "Be Nice"

My response... "i'll try"


Below is a list of personalized plates that would fit the chatters of NHL:1 perfectly:


bill (wildbp) --------------------------> PSYMGNT = PUSSY MANAGEMENT

bella (xx_complicated_bella_xx) -----> L8ASUSL = LATE AS USUAL

dean (briereyote) ---------------------> -CSHFLW = NEGATIVE CASH FLOW

tina (citygirl0117) --------------------> IPMS247

deb (berrybusygirl) ------------------> KIDLESS

(dakilangmanok1) ----------------> 88 KEYS

chris (hotshotschamp) ----------------> IFARTED

tasha (not2nice_31) ------------------> 1000101 = 69 (binary humour)

will (willc49er) ------------------------> URPWNED

chris (tml_fan_4_ever) ---------------> ISUKDIK

mary (mary_christine21) -------------> CHARGIT

cerah (hockeymom735) ---------------> GOTMILF

todd (ari_freaking_gold) --------------> BLOUGHME

brittany (fischer.brittany) -------------> DUMBLND = DUMB BLONDE

rachel ( hastingsgirl) ------------------> TOOPHAT

dave (hovy_dovy) --------------------> SSABMUD = DUMBASS backwards

jon (talker_a_talker) -----------------> BVRPLZR = BEAVER PLEASER

tracy (northerncutie08) ---------------> ALC-HOL = ALCOHOL

sherry (sherry_berry27) --------------> BUSHLES

katie (canucks_girl44) -----------------> EZ4U2NV = EASY FOR YOU TO ENVY

dani (aka_rockin_canadian_girl) -------> C D8 ED = SEDATED

jill (boltsgirlvl4) ------------------------> 1CHATHO

justine (lotusblossom604) --------------> MEJ WHO

joe (outovcontroll) ----------------------> DEZNUTZ

tasha (not2nice_31) ---------------------> UFNWISH

ine (foxy_the_first) ---------------------> GEESPOT

mandi (shortybynature) -----------------> MANEATR

linda (forever_frantic) -------------------> CAMLTOE

leesa (steelerschik) ----------------------> TRLTRSH

eddie (flyereddie48-----------------------> VEEEERO

ed (edbeldrunk) --------------------------> RU18QT

paul (jerzzzey) ----------------------------> 1 4 U2C

darren (fire_rescue1985) -----------------> E10FIRE

Found this while surfing the net...

Yeah... I've fucked her while standing, and I've fucked her while lying (compulsively)..... if my angel had wings, I'd fuck her while flying.

I came in her left eye, and her right eye twice............... now unable to see me, like those 3 blind mice.

I came on her tits, and shot a load in her mouth..... some trickled out, and started flowing south.

If my baby ever gets pregnant, on TV we go........................ paternity test..............................fo sho.

No telling which chatter, has tapped my baby's ass... no telling which student.. after each class... no telling which friend(s) of dear old dad................ OMG............... how many cocks, has she had?

Regardless, I want to be with her, forever you see... or at least until a better chatter, cums for me.

And if this happens, baby........ you won't be forgotten, on a lonely night in chat... I'll still fuck you rotten.