Back on December 11th, 2001 I had the pleasure of meeting Paul under his newly created ID... Scorpion_Assassin_666. We met under the Yahoo Category of Games and I believe it was in the Playstation:1 room. Little had I known, would we later cross paths again in NHL:1, where his topic of choice... yes, is still games. On occasion he'll share his knowledge of baseball... (like the Mets have a chance) or a little football... Go '49ers (good taste in Gore) and on rare occaasion, hockey.
Back in the day Paul was the nerdy kid of the Playstation room, standing tall at 5' 10" and weighing in at 132 lbs. He was nearly 18 trapped in a 13 year old body. I remember the girls always laughing at his picture and the boys beating him down mentally. After he agreed to meet 2 local boys and 1 girl from the room to show his strength, masculinity, and charm... I decided it was time to further introduce myself. "Paul, man... don't do it, you're not ready for this." "Paul, this girl is 13, far too young to know anything about life, don't worry about what she has to say about you." "Paul, these boys may only be 11, but I hear they're pretty tough, give me two months with you."
Then he was gone.
It had been a month since I saw Paul again. "Paul, man... where ya been?" See, Paul didn't take my advice, or ask for my help. These 2 local boys he met not only beat him down in the Playstation room, but also beat him down in the streets of Union City, New Jersey. And the girl he met, well let's just say it wasn't pretty after mom caught him "prodding." "But mom, I was only trying to take her temperature." Paul was given a "time out" for indecent exposure... 30 days to be exact. To this day I try to tell him to stay away from the younger women, they'll get you in trouble every time. Then finally he asks... "Jackal Assassin, I need your help, what am I going to do?" First we worked on his video gaming skills... hour after hour, day after day, practice, practice, practice. "There will be no going out at night, there will be no women, no life basically for 2 months." Needless to say Scorpion Assassin eventually owned that Playstation room. The night he captured the head of Takeda in the Room Championship Showdown, his peers voted him as Most Improved Player and Most Valuable Player of Playstation:1. Oh what a night!
Now it was time to move on, to another weakness of Paul's... his body.
Most of you think Paul got his body from continuously pushing fat chicks off of him. That isn't true and anyway, Paul pushes all chicks off of him. Some of you think it was heredity, but his dad is pretty fragile, and mom... well let's just say, her pectoral muscles are alright. For some of you ladies of the room... http://www.womenfitness.net/pectoral.htm Sorry about that, back to Jerzzzey. Paul asked if he could ever have a body like mine. "Honestly Paul, I doubt it... but I can muscle you up enough to where girls will never laugh at you again and the guys will respect you." So we bid farewell to the Playstation Room as our job was done. We hung out in the Health and Wellness (2002) rooms for about a year. I would monitor his workouts via cam and voice conferences. Never any phone calls. We know how much Paul can be trusted when it comes to phone numbers. If you're not sure ask him and/or Thibsgirl. Or ask ZR22K. So, I worked him out 6 times a week, taking Sundays off. He told me on his Sundays off he would visit other rooms and that I should come by. "Let's get our priorities straight here Paul, you take over 1 room at a time." Of course he never left that "other room" as he recently told me he had been lingering in NHL:1 since the Playstation days. After spending 9 months with Paul in getting his body more presentable and having slowly taken over the Health and Wellness room, it was time for the two of us to go our separate ways. To see his new body, visit... http://myspace.com/jerzzzey
When I stumbled across the NHL:1 (2003) room there was one particular person that stood out. He was confident in both his typing and speaking skills. It took me about 20 minutes to realize it was Paul. I had not recognized his voice. Puberty had hit while I was away, or maybe it was a voice changer. Over and over I made him get on the mic to prove it was him. Then the ultimate piece of proof, he was still talking video games. He spoke then of The Sims, Madden, Phantasy Star, Lord of the Rings, Alter Echo, and Brutal Force to name a few. He was still hitting on younger girls, but at least he was beating down the tough guys of NHL:1 unlike his days of Playstation:1. I heard he likes to give Kingvspades the credit for making him tough, but him and I both know who deserves the credit.
Over the next few years mom has still been updating him with more current systems and games. To this date, game playing is still going strong. People like to mock him for letting mommy do everything for him like shop, laundry, prepare his meals, etc... but that comes from the jealous ones. He's young, only 23... he has two more years of luxury before I start to get on his case. I heard he's pursuing a career in fire fighting... as the theater gig didn't work out. If you need my assistance Paul, let me know... I don't want you failing at this. The last thing I want out of you is a Fire_Rescue_2025 ID. Those ID's are for want-to-be firemen of chat.
Paul, say it isn't so... that the last head I heard you got was Takeda's in that Spawn video game 6 years ago. I can help you here as well. No driver's license yet either... OMG... maybe I should have held onto you for another year? I thought you were ready.
You're not really gay are you... not that there's anything wrong with that? What is it about your obsession with the back door? How did you let Alikat55ca get away? Canadian Rockin Girl? Flygirl_44? Good luck with Kate! I wish you even more luck with Hastings! Maybe Thornton...
As I sit here with my Cuban Cohiba Behike... (yes out of only 4,000 produced last year, I own a box of 40... well 38 now at $440 each) I wonder what if...
... what if Fidel Castro hadn't opened up the harbor of Mariel, Cuba we may never have experienced Paul. Thousands of U.S. boats headed for Cuba to pick up relatives, but unfortunately Castro also forced many boaters to take with them the dregs of his jails. It is estimated that 25,000 of the 125,000 refugees had criminal records. Sorry, this isn't the time or the place. And I'm not saying Jerzzzey's relatives were bad guys. What if JFK and brother Bobby would have bombed Cuba on Day Thirteen? Sorry about that, again. What if no Scorpion_Assassin_666?
Congratulations Paul on owning your 3rd chat room in 6 years!
Up next... I have an idea... you tell me! Maybe a small piece on the sonners before then?
Monday, September 17, 2007
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10 comments:
wow, no mention of Thornton, blogger u are losing ur touch!
kiss Paul's butt much Bill?
WOW...
The memories, i thank you blogger for all your help back in the day making me the man i am today! I got my license back in high school tho, but i can't afford a car, heck i can't even afford gas. Maybe when i hit 25 & my 2 years of free time are up we can hook back up & you can take me to the next level of life! No mention of Thornton was indeed strange, no Socom either! Funny as always, a little blog on the Sonners would be great! How about Zr22k after? Oh & good job on getting all my chat ladys correct!
Peace, Love & Harmony.
Jerz :)
I'm certainly not the person writing this blog, Oz. I enjoy reading it though!
i think the blogger is Homeboy. i thought u were a mets fan? the mets will win the series and when they do i want you to apologize to me and paul. right paul?
Thornton is a waste of space and a waste of life. He doesnt deserve to be part of this blog. I believe he is worthy of one of his own tho.
I could use another good laugh.
SOUNDS TO ME LIKE DRAMA NEEDS SOME SERIUOS HELP. Has anyone seen zr22k lately? I see he was here. Ok off to work at big lots today bye!
mmmmm....boo_denali!!!! Where have you been lately my spicy meatball??!! The new girls in the room have nothing on you baby!
When I think back four years .. I came to the conclusion that Jerzzzey was my first "chat friend" in NHL1.. We could actually have a mature conversation involving Major League Baseball and NFL.
Through all the dramatic changes over the years in the room.. this dude has stood the test of time, better then any them. He remains level headed, never redlines or blows his stack over much of anything. (Bradshaw should take notice of this and learn)
And when it comes Thornton19canada, himself and Paulie are like Pancakes and Maple Syrup.. inseperable.. comedy relief to say the least.
I often imagine (well not really but) what NHL1 would be like without these two guys "running shit around here".
haha i just discovered this blog funny funny stuff...i am commenting her on this post as i was mentioned! tho not correctly blogger, get my name right the next time. And this blogger is certianly not bill getting my name wrong!
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