Internet Dating 101

With the Internet changing everything from the way we shop to the way we find driving directions, cyberspace has become the hottest pick-up joint on the planet. While just a few short years ago, finding love online was a topic for a daytime talk show, now it seems everyone knows at least one person who dated someone they met online, if not fell in love and lived happily ever after. I would welcome any information of NHL:1 on-line romances for part 2 of this topic. I am aware of a few relationships and have witnessed both success stories and big-time failures. Since most all of you reading this are on-line daters I thought this might be of help to you.

A few benefits of meeting online for you losers that don't go outdoors...

-You get to know people who share your interests, values, and goals.
-You know they are looking for some kind of relationship.
-There's no swapping of personal information until you're comfortable with it.
-You get to meet people you otherwise might not have met .
-You are not limited to those in your zip code who happen to go to the same places you go.

Allow me to post a few helpful hints based on what I have seen in NHL:1.

Start Slow
Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true or seems to be blowing sunshine up your ass. Begin by communicating solely via Yahoo within the NHL:1 room only, and look for odd behavior or inconsistencies. The person at the other end may not be who or what he or she says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own safety and protection.

Guard your anonymity
Never include your last name, email address, home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying information in your Yahoo profile or initial messages. When corresponding with another NHL:1 member, turn off your pm's. Don't try to juggle 6 chatters at once for fear of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person, or having one chatter thinking they're not getting your full undivided attention. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it

Exercise caution and common sense
Careful, thoughtful decisions generally yield better on-line dating results. Guard against trusting the untrustworthy; chatters must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Take all the time you need to test for a trustworthy chatter and pay careful attention along the way. If you suspect someone is lying, he or she probably is, so act accordingly. Be responsible about romance, and don’t fall in love at the click of a mouse.

Request a photo
A photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact, it’s best to view several images of someone in various settings: casual, formal, indoor and outdoors. If all you hear are excuses about why you can't see a photo, consider that he or she has something to hide. One photo of this individual is not proof of who they say they are.

Chat on the phone
A phone call can reveal much about a person’s communication and social skills. Consider your security and do not reveal your personal phone number to a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead or use local telephone blocking techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing in Caller ID.

Meet when you are ready
The beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can collect information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the relationship in the offline world. You never are obligated to meet anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It’s possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can’t logically explain. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts.

Watch for red flags
Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behavior are all red flags.

You should be concerned if your online mate exhibits any of the following behavior without providing an acceptable explanation:

· Provides inconsistent information about age, looks, marital status, profession or employment.
· Refuses to speak to you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
· Fails to provide direct answers to direct questions.

In finishing I would like to leave you with this...

NEVER say "I love you" before you've met! This may seem like a silly thing to say, but I've seen supposed "internet dating success stories" that read something like "I have found the love of my life. We are planning on getting married. I am going to meet him next week..." Sure, you may think that person you're writing to is the coolest thing since sliced bread, but REALLY... you don't know someone until you really meet them. Everything they're saying could be a lie. That picture could be fake. One of my male buddies met a girl who had been sending pictures of her sister.

Part 2 will include success stories and failures that I have been able to put together over the years. It will also contain information that you have provided of NHL:1 chat loves as well. I don't want this to always be a "me" thing. I will always encourage input from all the readers.

I would also like to go a bit deeper into some of the topics mentioned above on my next post.

We are about 24 hours from closing the polls. Looks like Jocko is going to be voted in as President of NHL:1. Thornton as expected, (and lord only knows why I listed 4 nominees) is dominant again as the biggest loser of NHL:1. Like we needed a poll for this. As soon as I get all the information together, I will be posting a "Hottest Chat Couple" ballot. Please let me know who should be considered for this.