Thursday, September 20, 2007

Feeling generous...

I woke up in such a giving mood today and thought while I was out, I would pick up a few things for the following chatters:

1.) Bels_Belfour - a polygraph machine... http://www.dfpolygraph.com/buy_a_lie_detector.html hook it up to yourself Veronica before you chat, and if the needle moves while typing, don't hit enter. Chances are it's a lie. Disconnect the polygraph machine, and get on mic.

2.) Flyereddie - Hair dye... http://www.worldofhair.com/hair/ as he heard frosted tips were coming back in style. Veronica soon to be on the prowl... again. Pepsi sucks... "Have a Coke and a Smile" :)

3.) Antiwhy - Lean Cuisine gift certificates and 1 year membership to Bally Fitness... http://www.best-weight-loss-programs.net/ as he can't play a round of 18 due to fatigue after the first 3 holes. Or maybe he was intimidated by the windmill and couldn't move onto the 4th hole.

4.) Skinny_Chelle - Gift certificates to McDonald's... http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fat-Land-Americans-Became-Fattest/dp/0713997397 who at last weigh-in tipped the scales at 89 lbs.

5.) Forever_Frantic - indoor tanning bed... http://www.puretan.net/Puretan/Tanning-beds.asp?key=13394 and a new computer desk with wheels with a 50ft. extension cord so she can monitor the chat room while tending to household chores.

6.) Flygirl_44 - A gift certificate for a nose job... http://www.rhinoplastyrevisions.com/ as jerzzzey is getting tired of her nose getting in the way of his virtual blowjob.

7.) Willc_49er - Autographed photo of johnny chan... http://www.poker-babes.com/bio/johnny-chan/ to be displayed next to his bed in place of the NHL:1's Katie_luvs_her_dallas_stars who turned out to be fake.

8.) Hotshotchamp - Nacho BelGrandes for a year... http://www.tacobell.com/ and a gallon of pepto-bismol oh yeah, and a new pair of boxers.

9.) Oz Santwyk - Rogaine... http://www.rogaine.com/ ... and Massengill Extra Cleansing Douche, 2-Pack... soak in it... you pussy! Enough said.

10.) Evilgigs - Scooby snacks... http://www.keebler.com/keebler/products/scooby.html what does andys_chat_name see in that... other than shytowners jizz.

11.) Not2visible_31 - Voice changer... http://www.audio4fun.com/ that voice cannot be real. And maybe an introduction to DJ Ricky, a neighbor and possible lover out of chat.

12.) Joenaldiinho - Sleeping aids... http://www.ambiencr.com/ as he likes dreaming of Linda getting married... but not to him.

13.) Cheese_Bossman - A new inflatable girlfriend... http://chocolatefantasies.com/bachelordolls.htm and two rolls of duct tape. His doll will look like the Tin Man after 1 week. Book it!

14.) Jerzzzey - Movies... http://www.hoes.com/shemale.html and a jar of vaseline. Other than this, he has it all.

15.) Heartofdixiebrat... I don't even know where to start here! Maybe all of the above, maybe everything down below.

16.) Ari_Freaking_Gold - Male Enhancement supplements... http://4extenze.com/ never to be ridiculed again in his life! About his penis size anyway.

17.) Talker_a_Talker - calling card(s)... http://www.enjoyprepaid.com/ for all the phone sex he engages in. Psssst., call your daughter.

18.) Dean - Acne medicine... http://www.herballuxuries.com/acne.htm lately he has become quite defensive over his personal appearance. This seems to hurt more than the short jokes.

19.) Hockeyxgirlie - a time machine... http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread212906/pg1 so she can go back in time and forget that Chris from chat ever took her virginity and never called her again.

20.) Mobiusstrip - 1 year membership to... http://www.friendship.com.au/findafriend/

21.) Land_of_the_Shire - cabin for two at North Carolina's finest... http://www.moonshinecreekcampground.com/ plus miscellaneous signed memorabilia and a bottle of Junior Johnson's creation, Midnight Moon.

22.) Citygirl0117 - a best selling book... http://www.kamasutra.com/ the latest version of Hasbro's Ebonic Literati and a plane ticket to North Carolina (see above).

23.) Yet_a_newname - a date with a professional... http://www.get-laid-tonight.org/ as his first should be something to remember. Canucks_girl44 is not considered a professional and would prefer you be experienced before engaging in sex with her.

24.) Njdevils_girl28 - an exercise video... http://www.deniseaustinvideo.com/ to reclaim that body she had 19 years ago. How old is she now, 22?

25.) Boo_denali - A razor... http://www.dealtime.com/xGS-norelco_razor so we can actually see her face on cam.

26.) Ripstic5021 - viagra... http://bonermaker.com/?p=134 so we can actually see his cock on cam.

27.) sherry_berry27 - personal hygiene products... http://www.health-report.co.uk/probiotics-triclosan-dangers.htm as cleanliness is next to godliness and she WAS with five for fighting.

28.) Sharkfan_in559 - new pair of workboots... http://www.timberland.com/ as it's almost time to get back to work picking fruits and vegetables. Maybe a new pair of work gloves as well.

29.) Northerncutie08 - self help book... http://www.themodernreligion.com/women/happyhubby.html so her husband will stop working 12 hour days and bangin the secretary 4 of those hours.

30.) Irish_avs_fan - counseling... http://www.oldfreaks.com/ why is it he falls in love with girls half his age? Suggestion... to keep the girls for more than 10 minutes... put some sunglasses on, those serial killer eyes are a deterrent.

31.) Shortybynature_mandi - a book case... http://www.osullivan-furniture-online.com/Bookcases.html somewhere to showcase the severed cocks of chat men accumulated over the years for LilBudd to see, which shall serve as a reminder not to bang her.

32.) Fire_rescue1985 - educational toys... http://www.fisher-price.com/us/learning/ and not necessarily for his newborn child. Maybe she can educate him with them in a few years.

33.) Jockoredwing53 - 8 ozs. of Black Magic which contains high-grade essential oils and resin extracts imported directly from India. Not for the weak - ultra potent... best marijuana money can buy http://www.77seeds.com/ and a new raft for when Hurricane Bradshaw hits.

34.) cck2ca - the letter "0"... http://vannawhite.com/ so he can spell his ID correctly.

35.) canadiens08 - MSN membership for 1 year...http://www.msn.com/ so he can get his broke ass back online and not chat from the library.

36.) Gaggergirl - a case of budweiser... http://www.budweiser.com/ bottled beer of course and a carafe of Sliquid H2O Intimate Lubricant.

37.) Thornton_19_ca - strap-on penis and scrotum- http://www.vac-u-lock.com/detail/1/20/9/9/21/REALISTIC-DONG-8inch-MULATTO-COCK.html better apply for another credit card because when the girls see this new manhood he's going to want them to stay in love with him.

38.) The_evil_empire - a blanket and pillow... http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/default.asp?order_num=-1 for the next time he gets evicted and has to live under the bridge. BTW Steve you still owe Jocko $300 for the last time it happened.

I'll finish up my shopping this weekend, as I don't want anyone feeling left out.

23 comments:

Jerzzzey said...

1.) Bels_Belfour - a polygraph machine... http://www.dfpolygraph.com/buy_a_lie_detector.html hook it up to yourself Veronica before you chat, and if the needle moves while typing, don't hit enter. Chances are it's a lie. Disconnect the polygraph machine, and get on mic.

LMAO =))

Anonymous said...

LOL.. ah that was funny.. and thanks :) your soo sweet..

Anonymous said...

was here

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or has Linda NOT missed a minute of chat since leaving the country? Pathetic l-)

Anonymous said...

Yea Joes!:)) that gimped jew can't live without Chat.

Anonymous said...

unless this professional is a virgin then no thank. everyone knows i dont do tagged goods.

Anonymous said...

Joe you know my love for you runs deep, so deep. So what I left NY and now I am in Isreal. I have no life Joe you know this what would I be doing besides chatting and going to different websites? Joe I thought you were my true love, my soldier,my protector, I guess I shouldn't have believed everything you told me from the get go. You were elading me on to believe we had something a marriage and a long life together, so much for those kids,long walks on the beach,candle lit dinners, hockey games. You really upset me Joe but now I must move on and marry this guy my family chose for me, because this is going to be good as it gets for me, even though he is deaf in one ear and is a loser like myself. I can then say I have a life and will accomplish something those sonners in chat never will and that is get married. Don't get the wrong impression everyone I will still be in chat 24/7, getting married won't stop me from flirting w Joe and owning my chat title. I look at people like oz and I say to myself. Self don't end up like that loser "oz" putting his kid infront of the tv. Instead I will put my kid on my lap and teach her/him the proper chat etiquette and hopefully they will carry on my grand legacy once I retire from chat. In closing I would like to extend a warm welcome to all to attend my wedding. Ripstic will be catering my wedding so if you have any special requests please let me know then I can take care of it asap. My band will play contemporary rock n roll and some Jewish music, Thornton I would like to thank you for volunteering your services on Bass but I really dont think the air guitar game you bought will help you at a live wedding reception, but keep on playing guitar hero some day youll find a gig I'm sure, perhaps you can play at Ozs daughters' wedding? I will take severeal pictures of my wedding to share with you all. Time to go the electricity here is alot of money.

Anonymous said...

Rogaine!! bwahahaha!!!!
Out-fuckin-standing!!! Better give him one of mike_chevy's blow up sheep and some velcro gloves too cause Im leaving him soon if he cant drag his skinny bald wigger ass away from the computer. Baaaah!!

Anonymous said...

well said linda. i'm glad after 4 years of joe sticking it to you your moving on. LOL @ ripstic catering, looks like bacon cheese burgers, chicken nuggets and frosty's from the 99 cent menu for everyone. thornton on bass =)). Looking forward to the pictures.

Anonymous said...

citygirl lol @ your "your" l-)- anyway just curious if you're moist. or are u now off limits and im not 2 asks questions like that n e more?

Anonymous said...

smackadick I thought you weren't happy with this blog =)) youre here more than anyone posting comments.

Anonymous said...

A polygraph machine in chat =)) come on Vero you know that was funny. Imagine if everyone had one, the only people typing would be the sonners =))

Anonymous said...

why would I be off limits?..lol..

Anonymous said...

I sure hope my talkers cock isn't displayed on that bookcase that would be ahuge cide =)) nachos!

Anonymous said...

no but i heard hotshotschamp's is! :-ss

Anonymous said...

I just ate a huge plate of nachos!

Anonymous said...

You forgot me...I feel so unloved
:(

Anonymous said...

I just crapped a buttload of nachos, kind of resembles alot of the chatters in chat vero,spliff,eddie,dean,zr,cck(no o)and wenner head thornton.

Anonymous said...

lol you people are going nowhere in life!

Anonymous said...

everyone should just date nachos.

Anonymous said...

because nachos is all you can date l-) or are able to go down on =))

Anonymous said...

hotshotchamp sonned to silence after that last post l-) which is 100% accurate.

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