Top 10 reasons why zr22k (Jim) has a hard time growing up -
10. He's 47, balding, fat, and STILL watches the Powerpuff Girls.
9. It's 11 p.m. Sat. night, and he's reading Keepers while lingering in NHL:1 chat.
8. He giggles every time he hears a female chatter say 69.
7. He and his neighbor's granddaughter have matching Hello Kitty socks.
6. He shares a 1-bedroom apartment with mom.
5. He works part-time at Toys R Us on weekends.
4. He takes a dump in the corner of mom's apartment and then blames the dog.
3. He spit shines the spinners of his 1974 Big Wheel and won't let other kids ride it.
2. All of his imaginary friends are named after GI Joe characters.
1. Before sleeping, visions of sugarplums dance through his head, instead of naked love-slaves.
Jim in his 47 years has gone from infancy to childhood and from youth to physical maturity and yes, on to old age... but has yet to become a responsible adult.
Why is that, Jim?
Some men such as Jim will never grow up mentally or emotionally. The reality is that he would find the real world scary. By not growing up mentally or emotionally people like Jim do not have to face and deal with reality, which takes effort and courage, and they do not wish to challenge themselves.
Jim, I hate to preach here, but...
...for all that God has provided and enabled that is accessible to man... God only asks for two characteristics in return:
1. Think before acting and accept responsibility for your actions.
2. Accept responsible challenges.
All who do not develop the above characteristics, then God’s Intelligent Design will punish them and all who are close to them in the here and now.
First sonned by Mother Nature, next God.
Some men such as Jim do not wish to get married. They fear the loss of freedom and the potential loss of wealth. Marriage unfortunately has earned a bad rap, mainly because of the rules that Government has imposed for their political profit and how Jocko speaks of his previous marriage... LOL!!!
LOL!!! at potential loss of wealth. LOLOL!!! at the loss of freedom... this meaning he would have to leave mom's apartment and cut down on chat hours logged?
So again I ask, Jim...
... why have you not yet become a responsible adult?
Does breast feeding until you were 9 have anything to do with it?
zr22k shaking in his boots... debating on whether to leave chat for a year due to the Sonners humiliating him again or to stay and use the ignore feature this time.
Some think you never really left. Jim, but rather lurked and lingered for 365 days.
LOL!!!
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20 comments:
A man can be short and dumpy with no life. living at home with mom. no job and going bald, but if he has pork rinds and yoo hoos, fat women will still talk to him.
Talker has never met a woman in person, and Tasha still has a fat hairy ass...Talker fakes a death in chat so fat girls will call his cell and cry on the mic in chat. Talker offers to trade sex from Tasha for new phone numbers to have phone sex. Whats wrong Talker? INS after you or are you just one pathetic fat Speedy Gonzalez looking bendeho ?
the dana priddy name is pathetic, because that guy behind the name has a bigger noggin than a beluga whale.. He showed his penis to Pavel on the cam, and begs Tasha for attention when she blocked him on her MySpace pages years ago. Same guy who was caught by Dean lying about his "sous chef" job, when in fact he was the busboy !!! Dude could sell out his forehead as an IMAX screen.
yo yo yo i got my butt shaved and now it looks like the raiders helmet yo yo yo thornton is going to penetrate me deeply while paul sniffs mary christine's soiled panties yo yo yo
bindiguy or bindiwiener just doesn't have that ring to it like bindi_lincoln90210. I'm sorry, Ross, but my pusheyhole now belongs to Buff.
bindikins7: ketchup
buffers: mustard
bindikins7: bud
buffers: light
bindikins7: wiener
buffers: who
bindikins7: cuda
buffers: who
bindikins7: oh my god
buffers: want it harder, baby?
bindikins7: oh, spider, oh
buffers: i'm so close
bindikins7: release the sperms
buffers: aroooooooooooooooo
bindikins7: oh, buffers, i'm there
buffers: aroooooooooooooooo
bindikins7: that was so amazing, buffers
buffers: aroooooooooooooooo
bindikins7: let's cuddle now, buffers
buffers: who is this?
bindikins7: i'm your sexy osprey daemon hehe
buffers: sorry, wrong number
............
click
............
bindikins7: Verian? Buffers? Spermer? where did you go?
............
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
............
operator: if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try the number again....
.............
bindikins7: *sniffles* ..*sobs*...i thought buffers loved me??...
.............
.............
somewhere in America, a lone shotgun blast is heard...
.............
silence......
jhc808080: WHO HERE IS FROM CANADA
berrybusygirl_36: i am
jhc808080: SEATTLE HERE
berrybusygirl_36: thats sorta close to me
berrybusygirl_36: im in alberta canada
lolol can my wife be any more stupid?
seattle and alberta (medicine hat) are close?
billa schlong please please please work your magic with her.
make her disappear.
lol@ all you jealous ex hos of mine that still want my swinging guided missile. get over it, hos, i'm in love and loyal to the not2s!
Dear zr22k,
Please, Jim, I'm begging you to get over me. I realize I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever chatted with, Jim, but my heart belongs to MEJ. I'm sorry.
MEJ has a real job, Jim, and does not live with his parents. I understand life has you down, Jim, but you must fight back! Your parents planned on having their own lives once you turned 18, Jim. They want to enjoy retirement. I'm sorry if this offends you, but you must see what you're doing to them.
As a friend and former chat lover, Jim, I'm begging you to find a job and move on with your life. I can't continue sending you money now that I'm back with my husband. I left MEJ for you, Jim, because I thought you were special. I fell in love with the Jim that was an engineer working in a robotics plant. Discovering you were broke and unemployed and living with your parents broke my heart, Jim. You must understand there is more to life than 2nd grade chat jokes and farting on the mic.
In closing, Jim, I think it would be best if we stopped talking to each other. You nearly ruined my marriage to the greatest man I know, Jim, and I will no longer risk losing him.
Bye, Jim, forever and ever.
p.s. Talker, you were wonderful last night. Oh my GOD! You made me organism like Jim never could!!!!
Since I come into chat and lie on a daily basis, I thought I'd I come in and tell all my loyal readers that, I am a broke Mexican, wanting some attention.
I'm sorry that I had to take all my anger out on you Jim. I look into the mirror everyday and realize, I am sonned from the get go.
buff_lincoln90210: okay, baby, we gotta hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it up for you.
fischer.brittany: That's so hot. Ok, I'm a young catholic school girl, fuck me hard, baby. What are you, honey?
buff_lincoln90210: a rhinocerus. well, hung like one, thats for sure.
fischer.brittany: haha, ok lets go.
fischer.brittany: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
buff_lincoln90210: i stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
fischer.brittany: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
fischer.brittany: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
buff_lincoln90210: rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
fischer.brittany: no, ur not really a rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
buff_lincoln90210: rhinoceruses don't play games... they fucking charge your ass.
fischer.brittany: stop, cmon be serious.
buff_lincoln90210: it doesn't get any more serious than a rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
buff_lincoln90210: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough-skinned erect penis
fischer.brittany: thats it, now you're pissing me off.
buff_lincoln90210: nostrils flaring, i lower my head. my horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. you are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
buff_lincoln90210: my god that was fucking good! how was it for you?
fischer.brittany: fuck off
buff_lincoln90210: respect the pachyderm, slut
fischer.brittany: eat a dick
buff_lincoln90210: sonned
Dear Blogger,
Where are you? Are you okay? It's been a while since we've heard any of your glorious stories!
I was thinking that maybe you could write a sonner version of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" for the chatscrap's holiday season! It would sure warm their hearts on these winter nights, blogger.
Cheers to rum and eggnog and slutty women!
SUPER SONNERLAND (by Secret Sonner)
Sonner bells ring, are you listening,
In NHL:1, hos are glistening
Another ‘scrap fight,
We're sonning tonight.
Chatting in a super sonnerland.
Gone away are verian’s old sluts,
Here to stay are his new sluts
He sings more love songs,
As we son along,
Chatting in a super sonnerland.
In the chat room we can build a ‘scrapman,
Then pretend that he is zr22k
He'll say: Are you married?
We'll say: No man,
But you can do the job
When Dana’s in town.
Later on, ‘scrap will conspire,
As they dream to become sonners
To face unafraid,
The sons that we've made,
Chatting in a super sonnerland.
In the chat room we can build a ‘scrapman,
And pretend that he's the chat room stud
We'll have lots of fun with mister ‘scrapman,
Until the other sonners knock him down.
When we son, ain't it thrilling,
Even the hos get a chilling
We'll frolic and play, the Sonner Frost way,
Chatting in a super sonnerland.
(This track is available on the album "A Sonner's Christmas")
Not2, yes! =))
That's hilarious shit!
Not2!
Yeah!
=))
Secret Sonner!
Yeah!
=))
Brillyent werk!
Where can I buy the album?!?!
LMFAO! Definitely brilliant! Another sonner classic. Reminds me of what I've been misssing lately.
Talking about missing. I'm a little dissapointed. Figured after I've been gone for a few months, there'd be way more stories to catch up on.
Get back to writing!
SONNER BELLS (By Secret Sonner)
Sonner bells, sonner bells
it's sonning time in the chat room
Son-a-ling, hear 'scrap scream,
Soon it will be Sonner's day.
Chatroom gossip, 'scrap play dress-up
Pretending to be someone else.
In the chat there's
A feeling of Sonning.
Chat 'scrap 'ciding, Sonners sonning,
Meeting son after son,
And in every chat room you'll hear:
Sonner bells, sonner bells
it's sonning time in the chat room
Son-a-ling, hear 'scrap scream,
Soon it will be Sonner's day.
More 'scrap 'ciding,
Even fighting
Thinking they're chat heroes
As the sonners son more
With their truths.
Hear the sons crush,
See the 'scrap hush,
This is Sonner's big day,
And above all this sonning you'll hear:
Sonner bells, sonner bells
it's sonning time in the chat room
Son-a-ling, hear 'scrap scream,
Soon it will be Sonner's day.
(This track is also available on "A Sonner's Christmas")
Who ever thought I would find love after Joe. Fuck off Brittany,you child. Bill wants a real woman.
verian_my_spider_daemon: Brit, you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
fischer_brittany: how do i do that Bill
citygirl0117: get up \:D/
hotshotschamp: huh?
citygirl0117: get on up \:D/
hotshotschamp: you okay?
citygirl0117: get up \:D/
hotshotschamp: why are you calling so early?
citygirl0117: get on up \:D/
citygirl0117: and DANCE douche
hotshotschamp: are you crazy?
citygirl0117: i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.
hotshotschamp: nachos or STFU l-)
lotusblossom604: Thank you for listening to me.
lotusblossom604: You know you are a really good listener.
lotusblossom604: Sweety please say something.
zr22k: I'm back
zr22k: had to make sure mom was sleeping.
lotusblossom604: You really need a place of your own, Jim.
zr22k: i know
lotusblossom604: Until then, stop messaging me, faggit.
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