Rules for Bedroom Golf are as follows:
1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.
2. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out of the hole.
4. For most effective play, the club should be a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.
5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.
6. The object of this game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admire the entire course, with special attention to well-formed bunkers.
8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason.
9. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection.
10. Players should assure themselves that their match has been scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing on what they consider to be a private course.
11. Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all times. Some players may be embarassed if they find the course to be temporarily under repair. Players are advised to find alternative means of play when this is the case.
12. The course owner is responsible for the manicuring and pruning of any bush around the hole to allow for improved viewing of, alignment with and approach to the hole.
13. Players are advised to obtain the course owner's permission before attempting to play the back nine.
14. Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the course owner's request.
15. It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.
16. The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best player.
Good Luck!!!
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blogger, I think you'll appreciate this...this is an ode to 'cudaguy' courtesy of the immortal RUN DMC...enjoy
"You Talk Too Much"
Shut up!!!
You talk too much...
You talk too much...
You talk too much...
You talk too much...
Hey! You over there, I know about your kind
You're like the Independent Network News on Channel 9
Everywhere that you go, no matter where you at
I said you talk about this, and you talk about that
When the cat took your tongue, I say you took it right back
Your mouth is so big, one bite would kill a Big Mac
You talk too much You never shut up
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never shut up
You talk about people, you don't even know
And you talk about places, you NEVER go
You talk about your girl, from head to toe
I said your mouth's moving fast, and your brain's moving slow
You talk too much You never shut up!!
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never shut up
You're the instigator, the orator of the town
You're the worst when you converse, just a big mouth clown
You talk when you're awake, I heard you talk when you sleep
Has anyone ever told you, that talk is cheap
You talk too much You never shut, up!!
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
Talking is the one thing, that you can do best
You told the cavity creeps, to watch out for Crest
You never have the story, right and exact
And then you always try to bore me, with your yakkity yak
You talk too much And then you never shut up
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
Everyday you are out fighting someone in the street
And you're always fighting someone you know ya can't beat
Then you wonder how, you got in this mess
Just think of what you said, then take a guess
You talk too much You never shut up!
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
You're always spreading rumors, whether bad or good
You're the damn Walter Cronkite of the neighborhood
The Barbara Walters, and the Howard Cosell
You always come around, with a story to tell
You talk too much And then you never shut up
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
Said it's everybody's business that you love to mind
And talkin to you, is like dropping a dime
You're spreading the word, like it is your job
You should be a stool pigeon, who works for the mob
You talk too much And you never shut up
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never shut up!
A big blabbermouth, that's what you are
If you were a talk show host, you'd be a star
I said your mouth is big, size extra large
And when you open it, it's like my garage
You talk too much And then you never shut up
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never shut up
You always like to gossip, just like a girl
You talk so damn much, it's outta this world
When you're reincarnated, in your second life
You won't be a man, you'll be a nagging wife
You talk too much Then you never shut up
He said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
SHUT UP!!!
SHUT UP!!!
Twenty-five hours, eight days a week
Thirteen months outta year, is when you speak
I'm tired of listening to the garbage you talk
Why don't you find a short pier, and take a long walk
You talk too much Then you never shut up!
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
You talk too much You could be, out of breath
You talk too much Man you naggin me to death
You talk too much Tired of hearing you speak
You talk too much Eight days a week
You talk too much Then you never shut up
I said you talk too much Why don't you ever SHUT UP!!!
You talk too much Then you never shut up!
I said you talk too much Homeboy you never SHUT UP!!!
I want to insert my jalapenis deep inside of Kate! Fact!
Wow bill. Now that youve got the fine art of copy and paste down to a fine science...maybe you should think about the fine art of employment, paying taxes, buying a car, leaving moms basement, shaving your back, and getting therapy for that hideous sheep fetish. Doing a few night courses to finally get your GED isnt a bad idea either. God knows youll never score your chat love (boo denali) without a decent upgrade in a job over that 'fluffer' gig youve been at for 5 years now. Poor bill, he's seen more cock-ends than bookends I'd have to say! But its ok. Its a well known fact that sonners have to use a speech decoder which then spits out there words in a text format, due to their obvious lack of anything vaguely resembling an edjewkation. Gotta love teknawlogy and grandmas credit card eh fellas? By the way, its fun owning you like a $2 whore in the league this week. LOL @ a sonner knowing hockey
Wiener, you turn me on. I want gay sex with you. *blushes* HEHE
Seeming how you're 350 lbs of cheesburger residue I may be able to accomodate you on that. Ill just shave your chest and give you a good tit-fucking followed up with my knuckle children pattering on your chops? hehe
cuda get a life your nothing more then a dumb candian no life no money no credit fact. l-) even i cant repair your shitty credit and i know everything there is to know about credit fact. l-) lol@you cuda you pussy yeah! when i visit canada i'm kicking your ass book that one! faggit =))
wtf is a 'candian'?
Visiting Canada? When was the last time you left the confines of grandma's basement?
no problemo dude. I live in torbrook NS just outside greenwood/middleton. Locals will be glad to direct you to where you can "kick my ass" if you get lost. Just ask for my farm and everyone will point you in the right direction. Better get some medical insurance first!! We tend to beat them and dump em in a ditch around here!!
bow chika bow wow said...
It's true, the sonners have disappeared, not because they have "lives" but because they have their little feelings hurt. God forbid someone makes fun of one of their own eh? LOL Just the other night Jocko was talking about how a certain little sonner girlfriend was so sad and mad that people were "sonning" her. LOL Oh grow up little sonner girlfriend its all in fun and games. Who cares if people made fun of you and your pathetic little life. I mean are u seriously ever going to meet these people. I can bet a million that you won't, and ill bet another million that your little sonner boyfriend will never meet you either. Hey ask Bolts girl if he has told her that he wants to meet her. She will probably deny it being that they are "secretly in like" and even if she said yes your little sonner boyfriend (jon) will probably deny it and you will believe him like you always do. Oh and boltsgirl becareful who you tell your secrets to, don't trust anyone :)
P.S. Tasha don't cry, you should be use to it by now :)
Need I say more ?
I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in moms cellar and was told by my
mommy to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else.
I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the
sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the
cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
I so sorry laura i promiss to quit tomorrow. Please take me back, sweatie.
HAHAHAHa dum me.
So yeah i was at a bar all night drinking. The bartender finally
say that the bar is clothed. So I stands up to leave and falls flat
on my face. I figured im gonna crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober me up.
So i get outside and i stand up and fall flat on my face. So then i crawl home and at the door i stand up and fall again.
Now i crawl through the door and down the stairs to my basement room.
When i reached the bed i tryed one more time to stand up.
This time i at leased felled right into bed and i fell sound asleep.
I woked up the next morning to my moms standing over me yelling
So michael u been out drinking again she aks me.
Yea moms how did you know i said?
lol at me bein busted because the bar called moms and said i left my wheelchair there again.
You are in "Weight Loss Support:1" ( Need help sticking to that diet? Get it here! [Notification: We are currently recording IP addresses of all Yahoo! Chat users.] )
So I'm room hopping last night and you won't believe who I find......
nicole marie: Hi Pixie, Hi Beth. Here is the Diet Plan I'm on that has worked miracles for me. I have 2 more months to go then I will come back into NHL:1 chat and show those guys who humiliated me everyday and show them the new me. I bet they will all want me then.
BREAKFAST:
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz glass skim milk
LUNCH:
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed zucchini
1 Oreo cookie
MID-AFTERNOON SNACK:
rest of the package of Oreo cookies
1 quart Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge
DINNER:
2 loaves garlic bread
1 large pepperoni & mushroom pizza
1 large pitcher of Pepsi
3 Milky Way candy bars
1 entire cheesecake
heartofdixiechat: wow nicole that seems like a lot.
nicole marie: No, not really. I used to eat more in the mornigs and afternoons.
nicole marie: *mornings
heartofdixiechat: maybe you should eat a little more in the morning and less at night
nicole marie: No I can't nicole, then I feel sluggish throughout the day.
nicole marie: I don't mind eating a lot at night, because I don't have to move much.
nicole marie: I usually fall asleep right after the cheesecake.
pixie: i heard it's not good to go to bed on an empty stomach nicole.
nicole marie: I found that I have less headaches in the morning if I go to bed on a full stomach.
pixie: have you lost weight on this diet nicole?
heartofdixiechat: im glad you asked pixie i was afrad to
heartofdixiechat: afraid*
nicole marie: Yes I have.
heartofdixiechat: how many pounds?
nicole marie: Enough to make me look better than those other girls in NHL:1.
pixie: which other girls are you referring to, Nicole?
nicole marie: I look better Vero and NorthernCutie.
heartofdixiechat: lol my feces look better than those two
pixie: are you excercising while on this diet, Nicole?
nicole marie: I walk to the 7/11 for a slurpee sometimes.
pixie: how far is the 7/11?
nicole marie: It's about 3 blocks. Sometimes I take a cab back. Depends on the whether.
nicole marie: *weather
nicole marie: OMG I can't believe I did that.
heartofdixiechat: don't you add more calories than you burn nicole if you're only walking one way?
nicole marie: Shut up Beth, you're just jealous.
pixie: lol
heartofdixiechat: Nicole, do you still believe that if no one sees you eat, your food has zero calories?
pixie: lol
heartofdixiechat: Nicole, if you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, do they cancel each other out?
pixie: lol ive wondered that myself sometimes.
pixie: hey nicole, is it true cookie pieces contain no calories, because breakage causes the calories to leak out?
heartofdixiechat: lmao pixie
nicole marie: How much do you weigh, Beth?
heartofdixiechat: less than you i bet lol
nicole marie: Not in 2 months you won't, plus I look better than you.
heartofdixiechat: lol you have no neck nicole your head just rests on your 4 chins and shoulders
pixie: lol
nicole marie: Fuck you guys.
heartofdixiechat: hey pixie you're so fat when her beeper goes off people think you are backing up
nicole marie: LOL
pixie: who are you laughing at Nicole you're so fat that when you go to a restaurant you look at the menu and say okay.
heartofdixiechat: hehe
nicole marie: Hey Beth, I hear you're so fat that you have to iron your clothes on the driveway
heatofdixiechat: BITCH
pixie: lol
heartofdixiechat: pixie you are so fat when you step on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"
nicole marie: lmfao
nicole marie: Oh there's my timer, cake must be ready.
pixie: is it someone's birthday cake Nicole?
nicole marie: No, I saw this recipe for light german chocolate cake and thought I would try it out.
nicole marie: You guys wish you could taste it.
pixie: i'll be right over
heartofdixiechat: lmao pixie unless you're a neighbor kiss that cake goodbye
nicole marie: BRB
pixie: lol ok
pixie: bet she doesn't wait for it to cool down before she tears into it
heartofdixiechat: lmao
heartofdixiechat: she doesn't stand a chance on that diet of hers
pixie: lol
pixie: i'm going to go to the ladies room brb
heartofdixiechat: ok
heartofdixiechat: hello, anyone home? lol
heartofdixiechat: lol it's been 10 minutes where are u guys?
pixie: back!
pixie: lol at me getting stuck on the toilet, literally
heartofdixiechat: lmfao
pixie: Nicole hasn't come back yet i see
heartofdixiechat: nope
pixie: lol at her for eating without ux
pixie: *us
nicole marie: Hey sorry about that ladies. I um......
nicole marie: That cake never had a chance.
pixie: you ate it all?
heartofdixiechat: lmfao u did didnt u nicole u pig
nicole marie: leaves the room.
pixie: beth did i ever tell you about my abortion?
heartofdixiechat: leaves the room.
pixie: where are nhlphi and cck2ca when you need them im lonely and depressed
pixie: leaves the room.
Go Phlyers!
Tasha should go on that diet, i heard she is a midget fat ass. Did her and Dean ever date?
lmao at todd "room hopping" =))
i heard he's secretly been meeting with these girls in the weight loss support room since oz stripped him of his fantasy team. =))
no one room hops to weight loss rooms they intentially end up there. Hey todd u kinda look like a walrus in your myspace pic with that mustache you have going there and those buldging eyes.
rotflmao =))
toronto hasnt been the same since you left me.
Pens own you all.
sonned.
Ok dave, I can live with having to support your drunk ass, but the late night phone calls to brag online to chat friends has got to stop. I have neither the inclination nor the time to explain to these people why you are such a loser. Calling at 0200 crying and whining doesnt exactly enthuse your mom and I. For the love of everything holy and true, just check yourself into a rehab center and get on with your life. I was supposed to be through with you after I bought you a house to get you to finally move out. I know that your wife leaving you for a Canadian still irks you but its time to move on!! You have a month to get yourself sorted out or you're out of the will!! Fact!!
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